Mom doesn't like my boyfriend


August 13, 2018
Couple talking

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old. I am going to be 18 in February. I am living with my parents. I am my mother's only child, but I have two sisters on my father's side.

My father says that I act like a tomboy but he loves me just the same. He said that when my mom was pregnant, he was hoping that she would give him a boy, but I showed up instead.

I am having a problem because I have a boyfriend. It is OK for me to have a boyfriend. That is how my father looks at it, but my mother is against it. She behaves as if I am going to get pregnant.

Sometimes when my father speaks, my mother tells him that spoiling me doesn't mean that I should go and 'tek man'.

My father has never encouraged me to 'tek man', as my mother puts it. My father said that I am an educated girl, so I should know what I am doing.

The other issue that I am having is that my boyfriend is a musician. He does not hold a steady job. He is in the studio every day hoping to hit it big with music.

My mother asked me if that was the type of man I want and said that I should encourage him to go and get a job.

Pastor, that is his job, but my mother doesn't understand. He has a beautiful voice. I must confess to you that we had sex three times, twice at his home and once in a car, where he took my virginity.

I didn't want it that way, especially the first time it happened, but we didn't have any money or any place to go.

I know I am sounding bad, but I am not bad. I can't talk to my mother about anything, but I can talk to my dad.

My father said that it would be good if my boyfriend goes to college and still does his music business because he would be better able to help himself.

Give me your advice, Pastor. I read your column every day; keep up the good work.


Dear C.A.,

If you are not careful, this boyfriend is going to get you pregnant. I am sure your father believes that you are intelligent enough to protect yourself, and he is not giving you permission to have sexual intercourse, although he knows that is likely to happen.

I am sure that he has told you that if you are having sex, you should protect yourself from pregnancy and STIs.

God bless your mother. She knows that she has done her best. She is nervous about you.

She wants to see her daughter with a very good man - a hard-working man. So, from time to time, she may say harsh things, but she doesn't mean any harm.

Encourage your boyfriend to go back to school. Your dad is quite correct. He needs an education, even if he does well in the music business.

I hope that you don't do anything foolish to hinder yourself from going on to university.


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