Threatened to cut off my cheating husband’s penis

Dear Pastor,

I am in my late 20s. I am married and I have one child. My husband is 41, but he is always fooling around young girls.

Right now, one of them is pregnant for him. He said that she is lying. The girl called me and told me that he got her pregnant, but he said that she wants to destroy our marriage. I believe the girl because I was told that they were always seen together. He said he cannot stop women from loving him.

I have done everything for my husband. When it comes to sex, I don't hold back from him. Sometimes he wakes me up from my deep sleep, turns me over and slaps me just to do it from the back. I used to manage much better, but there are times when I am very tired. I still try to give him what he wants to keep him at home. The pregnant girl told me that he is like a father to her. He gives her whatever she wants. Her mother is working, but her salary is small. The girl is attending school. I asked my husband why he could not use a condom but he won't answer.

To keep this problem down, I have bought the necessary things for the girl to have the baby. My oldest sister told me I should not have done that, but I am a woman and I can't see a young girl suffer. I told the girl that when she has the baby, we will do a paternity test. If my husband is the father, I would see to it that the child is supported. She broke down and cried. She told me she was sorry for what happened, but she did not mean to take my husband away from me.

Pastor, I am scared to have sex with my husband because if he is having sex outside and got this girl pregnant, it means that he is not using any protection and my health is in danger. Recently, my husband wanted sex and he tore up my underwear when I told him no. He asked me if I wanted him to go to one of the girls who has been offering him sex. I picked up a knife and told him that I would cut off his penis; he said he would not give me the chance. He went away that night and I could not sleep because I did not know where he went. After not seeing him for a couple of hours, I called some of his relatives and they told me that they had not see him.

My sister came over and told me to go to bed. She stayed with me and she said it is better for me to leave him than to stab him or try to cut off his penis. The truth is, Pastor, I love this man but I don't know what to do to stop him from having other women. This man is a good provider. We have a lovely home. We split the mortgage 50/50. If he didn't have other women, our bank account would be bigger. I have my own car. He bought it for me and he maintains it. He is that type of man. I would love somebody to tell me how to make sex sweeter and to keep my husband at home.

V.J.

Dear V.J.,

I am glad that you did not carry out your threat. Perhaps I should say I am glad that your husband left the house when you threatened to cut off his private part.

I am sure he would not have allowed you to do so, but you were angry, and your husband was not prepared to take no for an answer. He wanted sex; that is why he destroyed your underwear. You had enough of his foolishness. Only the Good Lord could make this man change. You talk as if he is a sex addict. Many great men can be descried as sex addicts and they have had to go for therapy. Men spend big money on sex. You are fortunate that your husband is still in control of his money and he sees to it that the bills are paid. Some side chicks take away almost all the money that some married men earn, and cause their wives and children to suffer.

This young woman told you that your husband supports her, but she did not intend to take him away from you. I hope that you would give her all the help that you can. If your husband is the father, you should see to it that he supports the child. You are a good woman. I hope that your husband would agree for both of you to go and see a family counsellor together. Please let me hear from you again. Bye-bye.

Pastor