Dos and Dont's of oral sex


May 09, 2017

When it comes to sex, there are certain things that are considered 'normal', like kissing and vaginal intercourse.

There are other activities that are considered 'freaky' or 'taboo', like using sex toys and oral sex. Our society has certain unwritten rules about what activities are appropriate and stepping out of that realm can have certain negative social consequences.

The good thing about society's idea of normal is that is changes and for a while, oral sex overall was a big no-no, but that as changed to "men enjoy getting oral attention, but bad man don't bow".

Fast-forward to spring 2017 and Ishawna's new hit single Equal Rights, and now oral sex is on everybody's tongue.

I already addressed the obvious double standard and hypocrisy in my column last week. Let's look at some tips to remember when orally stimulating your partner.

Do Start off clean

We live in a tropical climate and so sweat is a reality. So it would be nice to present a clean dining area to your partner. There are persons who may prefer a little extra flavouring with the sweat, but generally, shower first.

Don't Insert food items

Food is a great way to add some spicy to the experience, but keep it external. Inserting food can cause particles to be left in the area and can cause infection later on.

Do Give feedback

Let your partner know how he/she is doing. Give instructions, ask for what you want. Remember, your partner is trying to please you, so communicate so that adjustments can be made if necessary.

Don't Ignore safety

STDs can be contracted through oral sex so use protection, especially if this is a first, time experience. Find out each other's STD status and get tested if you are not sure.

Do Talk about it

We take it for granted that we know what our partners want. That's not necessarily the case. Talk about your desires with each other.

If you're not comfortable or able to express yourself, use technology. There are a myriad of videos and books online that can help to articulate your feelings.

Don't Ignore your partner

Some persons are so caught up in their perceived 'skill' that they miss the part where their partner is not enjoying the experience. Pay attention and be open to making adjustments based on your partner's preferences. Try to be an attentive and flexible lover.

Whether you participate or not, oral sex is a part of life. You should only face the matter if it's something you want to do.

There is a lot of pressure for persons to try all kinds of new sexual activities; only engage in what you are interested in, and always pay attention to your safety.

At the very least, you and your partner should discuss it and decide how to proceed. Mutual sexual satisfaction should be your goal, so ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.

So go, get your freak on, don't be afraid to add dessert.

Send your questions or comments to or tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook


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