Check Up: Why can't she orgasm during sex?

by

August 02, 2017

Dear Reader,

E. is a 25-year-old young woman who has been sexually active for three years and has never ever experienced anything close to a sexual climax.

She said intercourse just does not stimulate her at all. This is now causing some problems with her boyfriend. She feels unhappy that sex is so 'flat' for her, and asks Check Up what to do.

Thirty to 40 per cent of women never climax during intercourse! Women commonly feel a closeness to their partner and even joy and happiness, but just not sexual intensity.

SENSORY NERVE ENDINGS

For most women, sexual pleasure is obtained through clitoral stimulation as this is the area, similar to the male penis, which is full of sensory nerve endings.

Many clitoral nerve endings are situated below the surface of the obvious clitoral bud. Contrasting this, the vaginal walls contain relatively few sensory nerve endings and only the lower third of the vaginal wall contains any sensory nerve endings at all.

This makes orgasm from vaginal penetration alone quite unlikely except for the lucky few.

If E. can ask her sexual partner to touch and press on her clitoris during sex it will most likely stimulate her and increase her likelihood of achieving orgasm.

Other suggestions which will increase sexual stimulation are:

• Prolong foreplay. Kiss and touch a while before the penis is inserted.

• Try different sexual positions.

• Use of sex toys? For the more liberated couple.

• Relax with your partner and not be concerned with body perfection! Your body is God's perfect creation just as it is.

Today, women are led by novels and movies to feel that women have frequent orgasms. This is not so for most women.

Instead, appreciate the closeness you feel with your partner during intercourse and begin to talk with him about what excites you and makes you feel 'sexy'.

If you are not comfortable with your partner up close, orgasm is going to be really difficult to achieve. Stop thinking about the orgasm and instead just plan on enjoying the close time spent with your partner, learning about what pleasures each other.

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