My man's wife wants to scandalise me


January 12, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and my boyfriend just turned 30. When I met him, he told me that he was married, but he and his wife were not getting along.

I am from the west, and one day he called me and told me that he came home and found his wife packing, and she told him that she is leaving because enough is enough.

He told me that she searched his phone and saw my number and she read some dangerous things about me.

When I say dangerous, Pastor, I told him some dirty sexual jokes and he loved them. This woman plans to scandalise my name if I don't leave her husband.

I am still in school, but my boyfriend wants me to come and live in Kingston with him. My parents do not care about me.

My mother lives on the street and I don't know my father.

I told my mother that I want to leave. She asked me where I would go and I told her that I am going to Kingston to stay with a friend and his wife.

She said that she wants to meet him. She does not know that he and his wife have broken up.

I don't know if I can deal with this guy. He would make the seventh man I have had sex with.


I got to know him one day when I waved him down while he was driving. I asked him for some money to buy food. He told me to come in his car and I went in and told him that I was hungry.

He bought me something to eat and one thing led to another, and he took me to a car park in a dark spot and we had sex.

I did not even have on underwear. He gave me $5,000 and that is how we started.

He told me if I cheat on him, he would leave me. I am behaving myself.

I don't know what to do. I am afraid of the responsibility of taking care of him. Since I have been here, his wife came to the house and they had a big argument over me.

I told him that he should take me home and talk to my mother.

Sometimes he asks me questions about my life, but I don't want to answer because I don't want to sound like a bad girl. When I was 15, I started to have sex.

I had sex with two of my male friends. They took turns in having sex with me. They didn't rape me; we were just having fun, but I can't tell my boyfriend that.

I want to go back to school, but this man is telling me I have to wait. Pastor, what do you think I should do?


Dear V.R.,

What were you doing on the street when you saw this man? Were you there as a prostitute? You said that your mother was always on the street; I suppose then that you were following in her footsteps.

I am not here to condemn you, and I hope that this man who has offered to help you means you well.

You should take this man home and introduce him to your mother and other relatives, and speak the truth. This man should see that you return to school.

I do want to see you go back to school and I do want to warn you that it is never good for a young girl, at your age, to live in concubinage.

You are not an adult, although you are not far from becoming one.

Please don't run around with other men. I hope that this man would see to it that all your means are met. If I could be of further help to you, please contact me.


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