Boyfriend using me to get to America


January 18, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am sitting here listening to your show, and I want you to know that years ago, I left my country and came to Jamaica to visit my boyfriend.

My boyfriend encouraged me to do so. I only spent four weeks because the man I met in America was surely not the same man that I came to in Jamaica.

When I came to Jamaica, he had another woman living in the house, and she was pregnant. He lied and told me it was his brother's girlfriend, and that his brother did something wrong and was in the lock-up.

My boyfriend only had one room, so I asked him where she sleeps and he told me that she sleeps on the sofa. I was there, and when it was time to go to bed, I went into the bedroom, and the girl was not pleased. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he said that he would find another place for her.

My boyfriend didn't have any money to rent a place. He asked me for $20,000 and I gave it to him. He found a place and moved her out.

When the baby was born, she registered the child in my boyfriend's name. That is when I found out that she was one of his women, and that he was only using me to get to the States.

He has never been able to explain why the child is in his name. I still love him, and I am back visiting him, but I do not trust him. He is still telling me that the child is not his and that he is only helping out his brother.

What do you think?


Dear D.A.,

You should know by now that this man is lying. You would have to make up your mind whether you would consider him as your lover and your future husband.

Evidently, this girl was sharing the same bed with him before you got there. This talk about helping out his brother is nonsense.

If this man wants you to continue to love him, he should come clean and tell you the truth. Evidently, he had an intimate relationship with this woman and he got her pregnant, so he made up a story to tell you. It is total nonsense.

You cannot say that you have not met the girl. Perhaps what you can do is to inform him that you are going to ask the girl what type of relationship they are having. I believe I know what she would say.

She is relying on him to support her, and he is looking to you to help him financially. You should kick him to the curb and don't come back to Jamaica to visit him. Use your airfare to do something that would benefit you.


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