I am nearly twice my boyfriend's age and he calls me mom


January 23, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you, but I am a bit fearful. I know that people are going to condemn me, but because I want answers to my problems, I have decided to write you.

I am 61 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 32. We have been friends for two years. I have children who are older than him.

When I became friendly with this man, my daughters said to me that they didn't agree with me, but when they saw how this man was loyal to me, they changed their opinions and told me to do whatever would make me happy. My two sons told me that I should not bother to have a man. They would take care of me, but it is not the taking care of me that I want. I want somebody to keep my company in bed when night comes and the breeze is blowing.

I don't want an old man in my life. My late husband was five years younger than I, and since he died, I went with an older man but I did not like it. Whenever I go out with this young man, people think that he is my son. He is smart; he sometimes calls me mother, and I answer him.

He is very mature. At nights, he bathes me and powders me, and we play love songs; I feel so young.

The age difference is wide, but the love is very strong. I don't know what you would think about that. This young man doesn't have any children and that is the only drawback I see in our relationship. I asked him if he has never wanted to have children of his own. He said the way the world is going now, he doesn't care to have any.

I don't think I can go to my pastor and ask him to marry us because he is going to be very shocked and might want to discourage me. I don't know how you see this relationship, but no matter what happens, I am not going to leave him. He tells me that he is not going to leave me and that I don't look my age. Other people tell me the same thing, so I know he is not lying.

Pastor, this is more than sex. This is real love.


Dear P.T.,

You say you are experiencing true love and you are 62 years old. Who am I to condemn you? I've just met a couple - the woman is in her 70s and the man is in his 40s. I must confess that when I meet these couples, I wonder what they are seeing in each other. To put it bluntly, I wonder what these much older women see in these young men.

And sometimes, when the children of these women discourage their mothers from getting married to these men, they have very good reasons for doing so.

Some women get carried away by having younger men in their lives. They are so excited that they spend most of their money on these much younger men. Put it this way, I am not saying that you are doing so, because you have already indicated that what you are experiencing is real love.

If it is indeed love, I can only wish both of you happiness and encourage you to go and discuss this matter with your minister.


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