Is masturbating a sin?

by

January 31, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am having a problem. Since I was 18, I have been masturbating. My mother found out that I masturbate.

I was at home one day and she thought that I was asleep and she opened the door and caught me masturbating. I had forgotten to lock the door.

When she saw me doing it, she closed the door and walked out. I tried to turn over on my belly, but she had already seen me. My legs were already spread.

I did not have any clothes on. My mother never said anything to me, but I spoke to one of my aunts and she suggested that I talk to my mother about it.

When I attempted to talk to my mother, she said that she did not intend to speak to me about it because the only thing that surprised her was that when I was helping myself sexually, I had not closed the door.

She said that the next time I engage in such a practice, I should lock the door. So I asked my mother if while she was growing up, she had those strong sexual urges, and she said yes, but she never discussed it with anybody because she didn't want them to condemn her.

Pastor, I do not have a boyfriend. I am afraid of guys because of the way they treat women I know.

My mother told me that if masturbation was helping me, she would not condemn me.

Now that she knows how I feel when it comes to sex, we can talk without having any fear of being condemned.

PREVENTS FORNICATION

Is masturbation really wrong? Some church people say that it is wrong. They condemn young people who play with themselves. I know that I masturbate two or three times a week, and that prevents me from fornicating.

Guys tell me that if I don't have sex with them, I will always have headaches and my private parts will get sour. Are these things true?

S.A.

Dear S.A.,

I thank you for being candid. Masturbation is a very controversial subject. Some people, especially Christians, consider it taboo, and yet Christians will tell us family counsellors that they have secretly masturbated for years, and it is not restricted to just men or young girls.

Many middle-age and older women do engage in masturbation. You might be surprised to hear that even women who are married engage in the practice of masturbation from time to time.

And some women who are married, and who do not feel that their husbands are satisfying them in bed, do masturbate regularly.

I have said on numerous occasions that the Bible is silent on the subject of masturbation, so I do not condemn it, neither do I endorse it.

It is between the one who masturbates and God. Some counsellors declare that there is nothing wrong with the practice. Others disagree.

They say that Christians who are sold out to God should not masturbate. I do want you to know, however, that contrary to what many people may say, you will not suffer any physical harm from engaging in masturbation.

I commend your mother for being wise. She did not embarrass you in any way when she saw you engaging in the act. She knew that the time would come when the urge to masturbate would become less.

It is said that "adolescents enjoy masturbation. In one study, college women report that experiencing pleasurable sensation and physical release of sexual tension were their primary motives for masturbation".

Some teenagers have been aroused by certain films, magazines, television programmes and even advertisements, and masturbation is a way to cope when they are sexually stimulated.

I say to you, therefore, that to minimise the temptation to masturbate, you should choose what you view and what you read carefully.

The worst thing you can do is condemn yourself. So please do not condemn yourself for engaging in this sexual habit.

Pastor

Other Tell Me Pastor Stories