Too depressed to function properly


February 06, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I must say keep up the good work, and I hope God continues to bless you with the knowledge and good wisdom that you use to help people on a daily basis. I hope you will be able to help me as well.

I'm in my late 20s, and I'm a single parent of a 10-year-old. I was diagnosed with depression four months after I had my daughter, and I've been battling with it ever since. I've seen doctors, got medications, but it would only work for a certain amount of time before it relapses. Living with depression is a daily battle.

It affects every aspect of life imaginable. I think it's at the point where it's beginning to affect my job in a noticeable way. I must say I am aware of some of the things that contribute to my depression, and I'm taking small steps to address some.

However, there are other situations that I can't handle on my own. I left high school with eight CXCs and six SSC subjects. I've been stuck in a job that I've lost motivation for some time now. I've tried applying for jobs, and I can remember breaking down in tears in two interviews. Some may say I'm lacking in self-confidence, but I know this is associated with the depression. Please, if I'm misinformed, do correct me.


Another one of my failure is securing and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not good at it. I seem to choose the wrong partners and I've been told more often than not that I'm going to end up alone. I'm concerned that I may end up raising my child to become depressed as well.

I've got other concerns, Pastor, but it's too much to mention. I'm simply trying to reach out for some kind of intervention as I think the doctors haven't really helped much, even though they try. I've also been to a psychiatrist in the public-health system, and to be honest, they are bombarded with too many patients and are overworked to offer the effective assistance that is really needed. I made contact with two private counselling facilities and it's very expensive as I'm a single parent with limited resources and little to no assistance from a father.

I'm not in denial, and I know that I need help. If you could recommend to me someone who can assist me, I'd be really grateful. I don't want to waste away, and I think I've got more life to live and reach my full potential.


Dear Depressed,

You have declared that you became depressed after you gave birth. Sometimes when a woman gives birth, she may suffer from post-partum depression and anxiety. I cannot say that that is what you are suffering from. I'm only making a general point. Perhaps when you became pregnant, you were not ready for motherhood. Perhaps the man who impregnated you has not supported you well. Perhaps you have been so disappointed in him that you wish that you never got pregnant or had any dealing with him at all.

You say that you have sought professional help, but these psychiatrists and other professionals have not had enough time to spend with you. It is evident that you feel that you need professional help, and people expect that these professionals will work for free or at a very minimal cost, but that is not always possible.

If a person is suffering from depression for a long time, it can become chronic. One has to determine what has brought on the depression. That is why I have asked the questions in the first paragraph of my response. Evidently, you need to see a psychiatrist who would determine whether you need psychotherapy along with medication.

I will ask a psychologist to see you, and he will determine for me if you need to see a psychiatrist. In the meantime, try not to feel sorry for yourself, and whatever that might be bothering you, try your very best to put it behind you. So whether it is your child's father or lack of funds or health problems, pray about them and ask God to help you.

Feel free to contact me again if you believe that I can be of further help to you.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories