Grandpa keeps giving grandma 'bun'

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, and I really enjoy your show. I am living with my grandparents, and your show doesn't miss my grandfather. When he can't get to hear you, he curses. I am 17 years old. My grandmother is not doing well. My grandfather has stopped working. I am keeping secrets for my grandfather. He has a lady friend, and sometimes he leaves the house and my grandmother doesn't even know. She goes to bed early, and I am up studying. My grandfather is very strong.

When I asked my grandfather why he has to keep another woman, he told me that I would learn when I get older. He takes everything for a joke. He doesn't sleep in the same room with my grandmother, but he is always checking on her. I have never known my grandfather to sleep out. He was a very good friend of this lady's husband. My grandfather gave me his pin number for his account. He tells me how much to withdraw when he is sending me to the bank.

Although he has this woman friend, he doesn't want me to have a boyfriend and he warns me not to get pregnant, because he does not want any baby in the house and for any man to be walking in and out of his house. Sometimes this lady comes and helps my grandmother, and I wonder how she feels knowing that she is having an affair with my grandmother's husband.

My grandfather treats my grandmother very well, but I can't understand why he is in love with this other woman. He knows that I know; he is not hiding it from me.

T.I.

Dear T.I.,

Your grandfather told you that when you get older you will understand why he is having an affair with the wife of his deceased friend. What I suppose he is trying to tell you is that his body is not yet dead and your grandmother cannot manage to have sex with him because she is not well, so his friend's wife is helping him out. Mark you, I am not saying that what he is doing is right, but I believe that that is what he is saying.

He has not said they are going to bed. I doubt he will tell you whether or not he is doing so. But he surely enjoys her company. This woman, from time to time, would visit his wife, and I am sure she assists her in whatever way she can. It would do no good for you to say anything to your grandmother. She is not well and it may only make her condition worse if you were to tell on grandpa.

Pastor