Weird News

by

March 23, 2016

ATube worker was stripped by a randy fox while he slept.

Steve Gould, 35, fell asleep waiting for his bus home to Thurrock, Essex, after missing his stop on the Tube, only to be woken up by the "fearless" red- haired animal tugging off his trousers, according to The Daily Telegraph newspaper. Steve - who had enjoyed an alcohol - fuelled night out in London's Soho - said: "I must've passed out and woke up at half past three, looked down and saw the fox nibbling on my trainers. It must've woken me. It was just curious - I wasn't scared at all because it seemed to be saying either, 'Come with me and have an adventure' or 'Get your kit off'. He was absolutely fearless. I got up and he moved back a little bit into the middle of the road as if to say, 'Come on, have a laugh.'" Despite Steve's numerous failed attempts to get home safely, he retreated to a friend's house to avoid bumping into the nocturnal predator again.

East Village E20 has launched the E20 Chockney Box to try and save the London dialect.

According to research conducted by E20, the use of cockney has fallen dramatically by 50 per cent in the past 40 years across the UK. The only phrase that has stood the test of time is 'Rosy Lee', with 80 per cent of those surveyed identifying its real meaning as 'a cup of tea.' The new innovative range of artisan chocolates are each named after a famous phrase, from Ruby Murray [curry] and Rocking Horse [sauce]. Eddie Amon-Lebeau, head chocolatier at the Tattooed Bakers, said: "As Londoners ourselves, we were pretty disheartened to hear that cockney rhyming slang is on the decrease, so we're delighted to get involved with crafting a yummy, cunning way to help the nation engage with the historic language of the East End once again".

A pub's parrot was found dead in his cage clutching his favourite bar snack.

The African grey, called Charlie, 40, was found holding a pork scratching by the landlady at the Rising Sun in Kemsing, Kent. Landlady Michelle Hunter said: "I have been with Charlie for the best part of 23 years. So it's such a shame he's gone. The pub doesn't feel the same without him." Charlie was a regular at the pub on Cotman's Ash Lane for more than 40 years, until his death three weeks ago. But spending all his time in the pub probably took its toll on the feathered friend. Mrs Hunter said: "He did all the things which were bad for him. His favourite foods were cashew nuts and pork scratchings, which makes sense when he lived in a pub, I suppose. One morning I found him lying in the bottom of his cage, holding a pork scratching. So he must have been happy at the time he died, as he was eating away."

A vending machine is under threat.

One keen junk-food consumer placed a ransom note in a snack dispensary threatening consequences if more Cheetos are not stocked. On the note they wrote: "Put Cheetos back in this machine or I will snip the power cables; you have one week." The image of the endangered machine has been circulated on image-sharing site Imugur with users spoofing the next part of the story. One person wrote: "Florida man dies of electric shock attempting to snip the power supply to an office vending machine without first unplugging it". With another joking: "Good way to start a flaming hot war" - making reference to the spicy flavour variation of the snack.