Wifey is not giving me enough sex


January 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I read your column every day and I appreciate your answers to the questions people ask you. My wife says that sometimes you are too blunt, so she is afraid to ask you any question.

She says that I must ask you on her behalf. She wants to know if it is wrong for her to get tired of me. We have been married for 13 years.

I love this woman. She treats me very well, but she has one fault - she doesn't like sex. At first, when she told me that she doesn't like to have sex often, I told her that was all right with me.

We used to have sex two to three times during the week and on weekends, twice. So I told her that we can have sex once during the week and double up on the weekend.

She said yes at first, then she started to complain. I don't think my body is getting enough sex. I have never cheated on her.

She does not have children, but I have five with different women. Her skin is very smooth for her age. She does not have any bags under her eyes, and she does not look as if she is 48.


We both have very good jobs. Pastor, this woman is well off. Her former husband left good real estate for her.

Sometimes she uses her money to help me support my children, but she doesn't have to. The only problem I have with her is the sex.

But whenever she really wants it, she mixes up my drinks, and I know what she means when she makes a certain special punch for me.

I told her that I will not cheat on her, pastor, but sometimes when this special girlfriend of hers comes by, I admire her; but I have never put any question to her.

I am seven years younger than my wife. Do you think that is part of the problem? She told me that she knows what you would say. We have a bet on it.

If I win the bet, she is going to give me what I want for a whole week. So please, make me win the bet.


Dear R.L.,

I beg you pardon? If you were smart, you would have told me what is the bet you made with your wife. I guess I know what it is, but it would be good hearing it from you.

Nevertheless, tell your wife that I say that she should try to do better. So in the words of the calypsonian Lord Kitchener, "Gimme di ting that di doctor order me" that is what you need.

She shouldn't allow you to beg for it. On the other hand, it is great fun to her to see you beg.

You are very fortunate to have her, and perhaps she would say that she is fortunate to have you. And if the fuss that both of you are having is over sex, that is no big thing because both of you have to learn to meet each other's needs.

You have not said what work this woman does. If she is in a very stressful type of work, it would affect her sex life and she would have to learn how to make time to spend with you.

There are some men who have sex with their wives every night. Some women would not go to bed if their husbands don't have sex with them.

On the other hand, any man who is able to have sex with his wife two and three times per week can consider himself fortunate.

Very busy couples have sex only on weekends. And sometimes when they miss the weekends, they are very miserable.

The good book (Bible) says, husbands and wives should not reject the sexual request of each other.

So, my friend, whether or not I have caused you to win or lose the bet, I have to tell you the truth.

Continue to love your woman.


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