Diarrhoea an' di man
Bragadap Brap Brap! The year 2016 done pon wi to baxcova. Nuh jus' wah day di year did staat? Right ya now, if yuh a read dis yuh need fi give thanks cause a nuff people drap out da year yah and see wi deh yah a breathe air same way. Give thanks fi real.
Bless up all a mi Ragashanti Live listeners ova www.tambourineradio.com. Big up unuh self straight.
So dis woman an' dis man staat date up ya a Obama Lan (yeah, a still Obama Lan, Trump naa staat till January 20). Relationship a gwaan good fi bout four months. It reach di point weh each a dem can jus' pop ova di oda one apartment unannounced. Anyone a dem can roll up pon di oda one anytime a day or anytime a night.
Anyways, so one night, or rather, inna di minutes to three inna di mawnin, Ms Lady inna har apartment an' a piece a diarrhoea tek har! She blow up di toilet wicked! She couldn't memba a wah she did nyam weh coulda did cause it, but di smell neva normal. It did stink bad. Is likely one a dem smell deh weh mek john crow run weh faas faas.
But as she come outta di bathroom inna di late hours a di mawnin deh, she hear har door bell ring. Right away she know a har new man. She panic! She neva want him come een an' smell har stinkinniss.
People, unuh nuh know say di woman mek di fuss wrong move an' go a di door, but neva open it. She tell har man fi come back di next day. Di man get confused an' ask har why him cyaan come een. Because she still shame bout di stinkinniss inna har apartment, she tell him say she cyaan explain, but him jus cannot come een.
Di man get bex an assume say a man she have in deh mek she nuh waan let him een. She tek God off a di cross to him say a nuh man in deh wid har, but dat she jus' cyaan let him een. Afta bout 20 minutes a arguing di man get wossara bex an' cut. From dat him nuh tek har calls and him nuh ansa har texts or har email dem. Him even give strict instructions to di security a him complex say dem muss neva let har een. An' jus like dat di relationship done.
Har fren dem a cuss har an' a tell har say she fool, an' dat she shoulda jus explain to him wah really did happen. She say she still cyaan bring har self fi dweet.
Poor ting! Har unruly belly an' battam mek she lose a good man. An' mi a pree too say even if she tell him di truth now him still wouldn't believe har. It sticky pon har.
Anyways, a leggomentz ya now. Big up unuh self fi di 2017. Take care of the really important people and things in your lives, an' don't be obsessed wid di unimportant. Bless up unuh self. See unuh next year.