Shenseea ‘Therapy Session’ hits the right spot

Following the release of dancehall artiste Shenseea’s single ‘Vulnerability (Therapy Session)’, a particular line – “Twenty-nine years under the sun, a man never yet make me [orgasm]” has resonated with women, who say that it highlights a silent reality many of them experience.

For Candy*, that lyric hits close to home. She said she spent years in relationships without being able to reach orgasm, eventually questioning whether it was something she would ever experience.

“I am a victim. Three years and four years [respectively] I was in relationships and wasn’t able to,” she said. Candy said that despite being sexually unfulfilled, she remained in both relationships for reasons beyond physical intimacy.

“The convenience, love…. them time a watch body count. There were more to the relationships than sex or [orgasm], I focused on the bigger picture,” she said.

But Cherry* offered a different perspective, arguing that while she acknowledges the reality many women face, remaining in a relationship where a woman is consistently dissatisfied does not make sense to her.

“If you in a one relationship and the man naah mek you [orgasm], it nuh mek no sense. It is all in the mind, cause if you deh with a man and him naah mek you [orgasm], dat mean you nuh like him like that,” she explained.

However, beyond the online discussions and differing opinions, the issue has a deeper merit. According to Professor of Gender, Sexuality and Psychology and certified clinical sexologist Dr Karen Carpenter, research shows that many women require stimulation beyond intercourse to reach orgasm.

“The research shows that seven out of 10 women do not achieve an orgasm unless the receiver oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris,” she shared with THE STAR.

“Simply thrusting intervaginally will not create an orgasmic response,” she added.

The discussion online has also highlighted a number of women who shared that they hold back their disappointment from their partners because they fear “bruising their egos”.

Candy believes communication is important but does not always solve the problem.

“I think communication is a factor but can also not result in a solution. Cause you can communicate, let them know, have that conversation. Provide guidance, and at the end of the day you can still not feel fulfilled or the problem no solve,” she said.

For Cherry, however, communication remains an option after being left dissatisfied, but if no solution is found, she said she would look elsewhere.

“Think about someone else and ‘reach’, it’s either that or him find another way fi mek me [orgasm],” she said.

Still, Candy believes the issue can also stem from a woman’s own understanding of her body and what brings her pleasure.

“It can be a case of the woman not even knowing her body enough, her likes dislikes and all a that. So no care what the man do, it naah go mek she reach,” she explained.

Dr. Carpenter further explained that, “Additionally no one gives you an orgasm. We are all born with the ability to have an orgasm on our own.”

In the meantime, Vulnerability has amassed approximately 879,000 views on YouTube.

*Names changed to protect identity