Mom vows to take son’s true paternity to the grave

A mother is vowing to take to her grave the secret about the true identity of her son’s father.

Neither her son, nor the man who he calls ‘Dad’ are aware that they are not related, and she has no intention of opening that can of worms. The woman disclosed to THE WEEKEND STAR that she was already pregnant when she met the man who would eventually assume the role of father. Decades later, the mother still does not know who actually fathered her now-adult son, and she admitted that the secret continues to haunt her.

“I know what I did was wrong. Paternity fraud isn’t something I condone at all, and it is mistakes and actions like mine that drive that belief,” said the woman, whose identity THE WEEKEND STAR has withheld to protect her son and the man who raised him.

Her admission comes amid ongoing social media discussions about paternity fraud and calls for greater accountability where men unknowingly raise children who are not biologically theirs. Recently, Panama criminalised paternity fraud – anyone found guilty faces up to five years in prison. The deception, the mother said, began while she was attending university, a period she now describes as being “young and wild and free”. At the time, she was living with her boyfriend.

“We really were good friends, and at the time I believed this man would be my forever,” she recalled. “Sometimes feelings speak over what the mind actually wants.”

Their relationship, however, was frequently turbulent. During that period, she had a one-off sexual encounter with a stranger she met at a bar.

“I remember his features clearly. I don’t know his name to date,” she said.

She returned home and had unprotected sex with her boyfriend the following morning. Approximately one month later, she discovered she was pregnant. The woman said the timing left her unable to determine whether her boyfriend or the stranger was the biological father.

“Devastating ... because I had about seven months till graduation,” she recalled.

But shortly before discovering the pregnancy, another man had entered her life. She described him as educated, ambitious and seemingly settled.

“He was attractive ... insanely attractive ... and just by being around this man, I felt things I had never felt before,” she said. The two began dating while her existing relationship was deteriorating.

“Things went so smooth. I must admit I was never open about that,” she said. “I really enjoyed the time we spent together, the conversations we had, our similarities and all that.”

Approximately two weeks after discovering that she was pregnant, she said she had sex with the new man. She also ended her previous relationship without telling her ex that she was carrying a child. Based on the pregnancy timeline, she said she knew the new man could not have fathered her baby. Still, she allowed him to believe otherwise.

“He brought me around his family. I met his mom, we instantly bonded. His sisters were welcoming. He gave me everything I was begging my own boyfriend at the time to give me,” she said.

Faced with finishing university, an unplanned pregnancy and uncertainty over which of the two other men had fathered her child, she said she made a deliberate decision. The man who appeared capable of offering her and her unborn child stability would become the father. Years turned into decades. Her son is now an adult whom she describes as promising and respectful, and he shares an exceptionally close relationship with the only father he has ever known.

The relationship between the adults eventually ended, but, according to the mother, the breakup did not end the man’s commitment to the child.

“I always admit that he’s a good father,” she said.

She acknowledges that the man was never given the opportunity to decide for himself whether he wanted to raise another man’s child. Yet, when she looks at the life her son received, she struggles to say she regrets it.

“I think it was a good decision that I made because I would have been a single, struggling mom, and most of what I am able to do now I probably wouldn’t have been able to do before,” she said.