I can't control my sexual urges


December 10, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I have a girlfriend for the last two years. I always cheat on her. She is living at home with her parents. I live with my godmother. My godmother took me when I was four because she doesn't have any children and my mother had six of us.

My godmother sent me to school and supported me. She was never married. She knows my girlfriend. I can bring my girlfriend to the house but she does not want her to sleep over because my godmother is a Christian.

My girlfriend is a decent young lady. We have sex but I have to take her to a brothel. I feel ashamed because it's the same place I take other girls. The people there know me.

One of the girls that works there is quite stupid. The first time I took my real girlfriend there, hear di girl to mi, "Same room?" When my girlfriend and I went into the room, she refused to take off her clothes and started to pound me on my chest. She asked why I brought her there if I take other girls there. I had to tell her the truth because I wanted to have sex. I promised her that I would not do that again.

I told my godmother that I want to get married. She told me the girl is too young so I must wait until she is older. When I asked her how I am going to manage, she laughed and told me every man can figure that out.

I am helping my girlfriend to go to evening school. She has three subjects. She wants to be a nurse. I am proud of her. I am her first boyfriend. I don't want to lose her but every time since the girl at the brothel asked me that question, my girlfriend asks me if I have been back to that place.

I told her no but it's hard not to have sex so I go to other places. I even had sex with an older woman at her house, but I don't like her. I don't know what to do.


Dear L.K.,

I am going to make this suggestion to you. You know that you have a strong desire to have sex. You have to do either of two things. Try your best to resist the temptation, or get married. Some people may even dare to say that you can masturbate but I do not feel free to say that.

I suggest you sit with your godmother and talk frankly about what you are going through. Both of you seem to have a very good relationship.

She is no fool. She hasn't had children but considers you her own. Talk to her and tell her how difficult it is for you to do without sex. Yes, tell her the truth. Believe me, she is going to come up with an answer for you.

Concerning the girl at the brothel, she gave you away. She is not a wise girl but perhaps what she did has helped you and has opened the eyes of your girlfriend. I beg you, young man, don't be promiscuous. Whether the woman is young, middle-aged, or much older, be careful and make sure you do not have unprotected sex with any woman.

Pray and ask God to help you to control your sexual urges.


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