She was out of my league but she married me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old man and my girlfriend is 27. We share one child together.

When we started to date, she told me that her friends told her that the relationship would not work because I am uneducated. It is true that I neither attended college nor did I finish high school. I was doing yard work at the time, and while cutting the lawn at one of the homes, I noticed this girl. She was staring at me, so I asked her for some water, and she provided me with some. By the end of the day, we became friends. I found out that she was an educated young woman.

She was earning a lot, and I was only hustling for a living. I invited her out and she accepted the invitation. We went to a restaurant and, when we sat down, she said that she knows that I have a big heart. I asked her why she said that, and she said “Because you work on lawns and cut hedges and you do not make much money. So, don’t be embarrassed, I will pay the dinner bill.” I told her that I was already embarrassed by her suggestion. We laughed about it. But she paid the bill then we drove around the city before she took me home.

I knew that I was entering into deep waters with this young woman, but she called me every day to find out how I was doing. Finally, I had enough courage to ask her for sex. I was not even properly prepared, but I was feeling her out to hear what she would say. She consented and I nervously had sex with her and she got pregnant. How could she allow an uneducated man to impregnate her? Her relatives told her that I would not be accepted into their family because we are not compatible, she should have an abortion, but she refused. Now, our daughter is three years old and we are married.

I know I should not have this woman but she does not make her education a stumbling block between us. I have gone back to school. I am proud of this woman and our daughter. My wife has never told me that we don’t suit each other but, in my mind, I know that she is way ahead of me. I keep out of her relatives’ way.

After she got pregnant, she told me that her first boyfriend had promised to marry her but he got one of her friends pregnant and dropped her. He was educated and a well-known civil servant. So, when I invited her out, she decided to go with me and to feel out what it would be like to have an uneducated man as her boyfriend. I love this girl so much. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am the man. She would pay for everything for the house without asking me for any contribution.

L.

Dear L.,

Hold on to this woman. Do your very best. When God made her, he threw away the mould.

There are no other women like her. You were a brave man and, because this woman was so very humble, she became your partner. I am glad that she did not terminate the pregnancy. I am also glad to know that you have gone back to school. I hope that both of you would eventually own your own home.

Take good care of this woman and your daughter. Please let me hear from you again.

Pastor