My husband has too many women


December 16, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I have been having problems with my husband.

I am 24 years old and my husband is 26, but he is very wild. I don't know what to do to get him to stop having so many women.

We got married three years ago. When we met, he told me that he had two children. After we got married, he got two other girls pregnant.

I pleaded with him to behave himself. From the time we got married, this man and I have sex almost every night.

Even when I am seeing my period, he wants to have sex with me sometimes.

This man loves me. I know he does. I don't know what he is giving other women, but I know what goes into the bank every month.

His father helped us to pay down on a house and we are paying the mortgage. And it is always paid. He doesn't make any mistake when it comes to that. He pays all the bills and I take care of the food.

Sometimes I say to myself, "I wonder if my husband would change if I threatened to leave him?"

But, Pastor, I cannot imagine myself with another man. I love my husband so much. I don't know when he has time to fool around other women because by 8 p.m. he is home every night.

I asked him why he is so bad and he said it is in his blood. His father had more than one women. My friends say that I should stop fretting, especially now that I am pregnant.

I am not taking any of his outside children into our house. He asked me if I was willing to do so, and I told him no.

One of my good friends told me that she heard that there are things that can be put into a man's food to slow down his nature.

I told her that I would not want to know what that is because I would want to continue to have good sex with him.

I am planning to ask his father to talk to him. He respects his father a lot and he looks up to him.

He said that his father was wild, but his father does not have any outside children.


Dear J.M.,

Let me begin by cautioning you not to put any foreign matter into your husband's food in an effort to cut his nature, so to speak.

It is not everything you hear you should believe. Your husband is a womaniser and you and others are aware of that, but I do not believe that would go on forever.

A man may love many women, but there will come a time when he will slow down and stop altogether.

But often, it takes a spiritual transformation in the life of a man that may cause him to stop.

He is having extramarital affairs and he is not even protecting himself, and by not protecting himself, he is exposing you to STIs, including HIV/AIDs.

Plus, he is extending his family by having children with women outside the marriage union. And that is going to be very costly.

You are going to find out that the money he is using to support his outside children will cause what you should be getting to decrease.

I suppose that you may need to talk to his father. He has told you that his father had more than one woman.

However, his father didn't throw his seed around. So if he is using his father as an example, he is not a good learner.

What you want him to do is stop playing around. Perhaps you need to ask him if both of you could go to see a family counsellor.

Don't demand that he goes, but urge him to go.

Let me hear from you again.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories