I'm living with a married man


December 17, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular listener of your radio show and I enjoy it. I am living with a Jamaican man, but he has his wife and children in Jamaica.

Sometimes I get very jealous of this woman, although I have never met her. It is hard for me to let this man go because I have grown to love him. He treats my children well.

He loves them as his own. I told him that I would love to visit Jamaica with him. He said that would be trouble.

My two children do not know that he is married and that his wife lives in Jamaica. We decided that we would not tell them that he is married.

At first when we met, he was staying with his brother and his brother's wife and children, but the convenience there was not good. I invited him to come and stay with us.

I am living in a four-bedroom house. He came and started to help me pay the mortgage. Before I realised what was happening to me, we were sleeping together.

He is 50 and I am 45. I don't know how the relationship is going to end. I was married but divorced and I am getting support for me and my children.

It is hard for me to give up this good man. He is well brought up. Do you have any ideas you can give me?


Dear T.S.,

Every woman wants a good man, and the man with whom you are living is a good man. You know that for sure.

The only problem is that legally he is not your own, and it is only a matter of time before he leaves you permanently.

He has already told you that he is married and you know that he is not leaving his wife.

Although you have not said it, I assume that this man has filed for his wife and children and they will join him in America soon.

You do not seem to be the type of woman who would create problems for this man with his wife, although you wish that he would leave her and come to you totally.

I hope that when the time comes for this man to welcome his wife to America, you will not stand in his way.

You have not said whether his wife knows that he is living with you. I beg you, please, don't do anything that will bring unhappiness to this man and his wife.

Be prepared to give him up and allow him to be with his family.


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