I just gave birth and my husband harassing me for sex


December 20, 2016

Dear Pastor,

How soon should a woman have sex after giving birth? This is my first child and my husband has started harassing me for sex six weeks after I gave birth. I was so surprised when my friends told me that some women have sex four weeks after they gave birth, if they did not have a complicated pregnancy or they did not experience any tearing.

I told my husband that I am still feeling sore and I don't have the urge to have sex, but he won't listen. I don't know what is wrong with him. Since I am at home, he goes out every night to play dominoes and when he comes home, before coming to bed he takes a shower.

So, I don't know if he is having sex when he says that he is with friends playing dominoes. I love my husband and I know he loves me. I want to please him, but I don't know what to do because I am not ready to have sex and I know that my body isn't ready. Do you have any words of advice to pass on to me?

Initials withheld

Dear Writer,

It might surprise you to learn that a very large number of women resume having sex six weeks after giving birth. However, some women take longer and it would be advisable for you to discuss this matter with your doctor. If you have no desire to have sex, you should try to convince your husband that you will make love to him very soon, but he should not rush you just to satisfy himself.

If you have had stitches and suffered, and the opening of your vagina is sore, you should definitely not engage in sex. You know what you are feeling. A man can never experience what his wife is feeling. However, a sympathetic husband will not force his wife to do what she does not want to do. It is only a matter of time when you will be ready for sex again.

It would be better for you to accept that your husband has gone out to play dominoes with his friends than to accuse him of having an extramarital relationship.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories