Which man should I choose?


December 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old. I have three children. Two by one man, and one by another.

The father of my first two children went away and left me with them. He sent money for them, but I got tired of waiting on him to come back and marry me as he had promised.

His sister shared house with us. He left her there and she helped to pay the bills. He skipped his contract and did not come back.

He called and told me that he was going to get married, but I should not feel cheated because he was only doing it to help me and the children. I told him to go ahead.

After five years of waiting, I got involved with another man. His sister found out and told him. He asked me and I told him yes.

He said to me, "You know I can't marry you again?" I said to him that he is unfair because he has a woman and he is having sex up there with her. He replied that a woman can't do what a man can.

I moved out of the house where I was living with my children and went to live on my own, and the man got me pregnant.

Now after all these years, this man is telling me that he is willing to forgive me and I should leave my present man and he will come and marry me.

To tell you the truth, I still love him. I don't know what to do. One mind says let this man I am living with go because he is a womaniser, and another mind says I should not leave.

Please give me your advice.


Dear A.T.,

You have to follow your heart. At least your children's father told you what he wanted to do and you agreed. So he did not do anything behind your back.

In the meantime, you felt like you cannot bear the lonely life any longer, therefore you became sexually involved with another man to this day.

It is said that time heals. Therefore, your children's father has forgiven you, even though you have had another child by another man. Evidently, he still loves you.

Would you be willing to marry him? Perhaps he wants to help his children to get to America to live with him and would not want to leave you behind.

I say to you again, follow your heart.


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