I don't believe in God


January 09, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have seen in the newspaper where the Government is going to build a school for orphans.

Please tell the Government not to put the churches in charge of the girls.

I grew up in a girls' home and it was very bad. The two women who were put in charge of us were two of the wickedest people that God has put on the earth.

I went there at age four and at age seven, I used to go to the pantry and work.

One of the women used to beat me while I was on the floor. The strap would catch me on any part of my body.

Whenever I got up and ran, she would call me back to beat me.

These women had no mercy. Others who lived at the home can back up my story.

I am living well in Canada, but I cry every day when I think about my other school friends.

Some are in prison and some are at Bellevue, and others are walking in the rain on the street, eating from garbage bins.

I don't believe in God because the Bible says "Suffer the little children to come to me ... for such is the Kingdom of heaven."

And he saw all that was happening to us, but he never killed them. He allowed us to grow up as foolish and fearful children and we could not stand up for ourselves.


They bullied us. They told us to go up to the dorm and kneel down at our bedsides from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. and then we would go to bed.

The lady in charge put her clock to alarm at 3 a.m. and we had to get up and kneel again at the bedside until 4 a.m. and then say prayers and go down to the garden. Afterwards, the bell would ring and we would have breakfast and then go to school.

The only time we were able to talk to each other was when we were watering the garden. When the bell rang, we washed our feet and went back to kneel down at our bedsides without supper. That went on for two weeks.

As soon as we were 16, they pushed us through the gate, and men would come and take us and use us.

Pastor, I did not know that I would be grieving so long. I had to wash men's clothes and be a slave to them.

Pastor, when I was 16, the lady in charge gave me to a lady. When I was ready to go to bed, the bed was good, the room was clean, but something was missing.

The girls I used to live with (over 54 of us) were on my mind. I missed them. All of a sudden I was alone in this room.

One day, the lady saw me crying and she asked me why. I told her that I wanted to go to my sister.

She asked me if I knew where she lived and I told her that I had a letter that my sister wrote; I showed her the letter.

She asked the man who brings her provisions to take me to my sister. He took me and handed me to my sister. That man is the best man I have ever met in Jamaica.


Dear C.S.,

I thank you for your letter and I want you to know that I do not doubt the account you have given about your life in this home.

You have called the names of individuals who were in charge of the home, but please understand why I have deleted these names.

I have done so because many years have passed and the situation in that school has changed.

In addition to that, God has marvellously blessed you. And I know that God would bring those who have ill-treated you and the other girls into judgement. They will reap their reward.

I also know that the organisation that runs that school is reputable and very helpful. These women who were put in charge were cruel and inhumane.

But I hope that you will learn to forgive them. I regret hearing that you do not believe in God. That is a big mistake you are making.

You should not blame God for the cruel treatment you have undergone as a child. So, please don't blame God for the things these women have done to you. Pray for them.

My prayers are with you. Keep strong and feel free to write to me again.


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