Stepmom is giving my dad 'bun'


February 10, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I'm living with my father and stepmother. I can't wait to be 18 to leave my father's house because my stepmother does not love me.

She only pretends to love my father. My father is 44 years old and she is 31.

One day, I came home from school and I went straight into my bedroom and closed the door because I was not feeling well. My stepmother did not know I was there.

I wasn't hiding or anything like that, and the phone rang. She told the person who was on the phone that she left work already and if he had called earlier he could have picked her up.

She said, "I could have gone with you and give you what you want because I want it, too".

I know it was a man that she was talking to because women don't talk to each other that way.

She also asked the person for some money to give to her mother to go the doctor, and she said that my father is not giving her the money although she asked him for it.

When she was finished talking, she told the person that she loves him and they must work out something for the weekend.

Pastor, I heard all of that. Long after I came out from my room and went into the kitchen and said "good evening". She asked me if I just came and I said yes.

She looked guilty about something. It is not the first time that my stepmother is keeping men with my father.

I heard him say that to her already, and she told him that she would never do that, why should she do that when he is giving her everything. And he laughed it off.

I don't know if I should tell my father what I heard.

My father drives a truck for a living, so sometimes he comes home very late, and my stepmother is always watching me and wants to know every move I am making so that she can cheat.

Should I tell on her, and would my father believe me? I don't want her to give him HIV/AIDS.


Dear O.P.,

Are you absolutely sure that your stepmother was talking to a man? Please understand that I am aware that you are 17 and you ought to know whether the kind of conversation that your stepmother was having was ordinary friendly talk.

Now the question that you have brought to me, whether or not you should tell your father, is a tough one for me.

If you were to tell your father, would he believe you and if he didn't believe you, would his woman agree for you to continue living there?

Would she not call you a dirty liar, and where would your father put you to live?

Your father might say that you are only hearing what his girlfriend was saying on the phone, you couldn't hear the other person.

Therefore, he couldn't accept what you are saying. He could always say that you are making up a story on her because you don't like her.

Now, if he had heard some time ago that she was cheating or if he had very good reason to believe that she was cheating, then without question he wouldn't doubt you.

I have said the above to encourage you to weigh the matter carefully before you decide whether or not to tell your father about your stepmother.

While I think your father should know that your stepmother might be cheating, I would suggest that you play your cards right and hold back from telling him.

If she is really cheating she, is going to do it again and perhaps again and again. And cheaters are eventually caught.


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