My son is willing to accept a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

I am a 60-year-old man and my wife is 55. We have two grown children.

They are no longer living with us. Our son moved out and is living with his girlfriend. Our daughter is a teacher in the United States of America. She talks to us every day, while our son comes by to see us every weekend.

My son told me that his girlfriend is pregnant but he does not believe that the child she is carrying is his. He said that she had another boyfriend and she admitted to him that they had sex the very month they started living together. My son said he knew about that relationship and, when he checked it out with her, the child could be his or it could be for the other guy.

I told him that this could not be a good girl because she is having sex with two men without protection. I told him he should wait until she gives birth to do a DNA test to see who is the child’s father. I also advised him not to stay with this girl if the DNA test shows that the child belongs to the other man.

He told me that if the DNA test said the child is not his, he probably would stay with her because she takes good care of him.

Our daughter listens to our advice but our son behaves as if he has lost a screw. Why would a young man tie up himself with another man’s child? Do you think that I am wrong in telling him that if the child she is carrying is not his, he should leave her?

My wife tells me that I should not encourage him to leave her. What do you say?

T

Dear T.,

Your son and his girlfriend are living together and, the longer they are together, I am sure is the more they feel that they could live together in harmony. Instead of suggesting to your son that he should break up the relationship with this young girl, would it not be better for you to encourage him to forgive her for the mistake that she has made?

She shouldn’t have had unprotected sex, but many intelligent young women made that mistake and became pregnant.

She was having sex with this other guy and your son during the same period, and she should have known better. But I do not believe that you, as a father, should tell him what he should do. Perhaps if the child is not his, and your son remains with her, she would make an excellent wife to him.

I will be glad to hear from you a few months after she has given birth.

Pastor