I am lonely because my husband is away


February 16, 2017

Dear Pastor,

It is late at night and I am in my bed alone listening to your show. You have been my company for the past two years. I am married and I am a professional. I do not have children and my husband is away.

He talks to me every night and we have got into having phone sex. I used to resist phone sex, but sometimes I am so lonely and he tells me that he is lonely. So, we try to comfort each other.

I have only seen my husband once in two years. He came to see me. I intended to go to see him, but was unable to do so through no fault of mine. I am going to try again though.

Pastor, don't you think that it is easier for a woman to be faithful to a man than for a man to be faithful to a woman? When guys try to get at me, I just remind them that I'm married. Some of them went to school with me and they are always asking me how can I be sure that my husband doesn't have another woman. I asked my husband and he told me that he doesn't have any woman and he has never cheated.

How could a man be away for two years and not have a girlfriend on the side? This is a question that I ask myself, but I believe that what he is telling me is true. He comes from a Christian family and does not play around.

He is planning to be home permanently at the end of June. I can't wait to see my man, hug him and to tell him that I love him.


Dear T.L.,

First of all, set your mind at ease. It is quite possible for a man to be away from his partner and remain faithful to her. It is quite challenging. Long-distance relationships can be very troubling at times, but that does not mean that it cannot work. It can work. When people are determined to make a relationship work, nothing or no one can stop them.

You expressed how difficult it is for you. You are a professional, but if after leaving your work you go home and mope, it would not help you psychologically and emotionally. What I would suggest, therefore, is that you become engaged in spiritual work or social work. I am sure that you would find many organisations that would be glad to have you in helping them in their group. That would take up some of your time and at least keep you very occupied.

People who are separated from their partners or their spouses should learn to pray that they would be faithful to one another.


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