I got my one-night stand girl pregnant


February 20, 2017
Sad. Depressed. Distressed

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 25 years old and I have been married for a year. Just before I got married, I got involved with a girl who was 19.

We went out and I ended up sleeping with her. My neighbours told my fiancE at the time that they saw a girl leaving my apartment. I denied it, but I knew it was true.

I got married, but the girl I slept with became pregnant. I begged her not to call my name. She said she did not want to do an abortion because she had an abortion six months before I met her.

Every week, this girl wants money from me and it is getting to me. Whenever I try to tell her I don't have money, she says she is going to tell my wife, from start to finish, what we have been hiding from her.

The only person I have told so far is my mother. Sometimes when I don't have enough money to give to her, my mother chips in and helps her. She refuses to take a job.

I asked her why she is doing this to me. She said I should have known to use a condom and that it is not her fault. I told her that she should have had a condom in her bag, too.

My wife is presently pregnant. My mother told me that I should take the risk and tell her the truth. I am afraid my wife would be so hurt and hurt the baby she is carrying.

My mother told me that if I don't have the courage to tell her, she would inform her whenever the girl comes to her house to collect money. I do not want that, Pastor.


One night, I was at home and the girl called my phone and my wife answered. My wife handed me the phone. She said: "I know you are with your wife, but I need a little sex. Can you come over?"

I didn't expect that from her because the child she has for me was as a result of a one-night stand and by now ,I thought that she would have found a man for herself.

I told her on the phone that I will take care of her tomorrow and I turned off the phone.

My wife asked: Who was that? I told her that it was one of my coworkers. I don't think my wife believed me based on the way she stared at me.

Pastor, tell me what I should do. I don't want my relationship with my wife to break up. We love each other. She has changed my life. I am learning to be a good husband.


Dear SP,

It is unfortunate that you got involved with this young woman just before you got married. Although the young woman is now blaming you for not using a condom, evidently that did not cross her mind before both of you had unprotected sex.

I know for sure by her comments that she wants you. She is prepared to expose you if you fail to support her fully. She is using your lack of support from time to time of the child as a weapon against you.

Therefore, you need to seriously consider taking the advice of your mother by informing your wife that you fathered a child before you got married to her.

Lay out the truth before her and beg her to forgive you.

She is likely to be furious, but if you handle the matter well, she may just forgive you and try to defend and protect you from this young woman.

You should be careful not to tell your wife about this matter until after she has given birth, perhaps about three months or so after she has given birth.

When you tell your wife about the child and this woman, you should explain to her how much money you give this woman and how often she gets from you. I wish you well.


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