He won't leave his wife for me


February 22, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am only 20 years old and I have had two boyfriends in my life. My first boyfriend was my schoolmate. He was not well behaved.

He did not like to be neat. He didn't comb his hair and he wore his pants below his bottom.

The only time he was very nice and listened to me was when he wanted to have sex. We used to have sex often because his people had money.

My brother didn't like him because of his behaviour. I asked my brother if I left him whether he would help me.

He helped me to get a job. One day a man came to the store and he was more interested in me than what he said he was looking to buy.

He asked me for my number and I gave it to him, and he never stopped calling me until I agreed to go out with him.

He took me to Port Royal for us to eat fish. When we left Port Royal he asked me if I would have sex with him, and I told him that it was too soon. He never forced me.

On Labour Day, we went out together. Everything I wore on that date was new, from panty to bra. He didn't ask me to have sex with him, but I told him I was ready.

He was so gentle and he stayed so long making love to me, I wondered if he drank something.

He is 50 years old. He told me that he cannot marry me because it is against his religion to get a divorce and remarry. That is the only problem I am having.

I now work at his business place, but at work he does not treat me as his girlfriend and he makes me take the bus sometimes to go home, so that nobody would suspect us.

He gives me the same amount of money as the other workers, but I get an extra $3,000 or $4,000 privately.

Pastor, I do not know what to do. He always makes time for me, but he tells me that we can never get married.


Dear K.D.,

I want you to know that I understand your situation. There are some people who would see your letter and right away condemn you.

Evidently, he wanted a fling and you were available. It is true, though, you could have said no, but you saw this man as a good catch and you were in need.

One thing you can't blame him for is lying; he told you that he would never marry you. He used his church doctrine as the reason.

Here I know for sure he is not speaking the truth. If this man felt that he should marry you, the teaching of his church would not stop him.

I believe he is trying to say he would help you as long as you need the help, but he would never leave his wife for you.

You must not get it in your mind that you are better than his wife.

The day you tell anybody that he is your lover and that gets to his wife, it is the day he is going to tell you to move on.

I would encourage you, like I have done many girls in your age group, to convince this man to allow you to go back to school without any strings attached.

Get an education or a skill and go out and face the world with the help of God.

I hope that you would take my suggestion, and let me hear from you again.


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