Boyfriend upset I use a vibrator

by

February 23, 2017

Dear Pastor,

My boyfriend came to visit me unexpectedly. I had my vibrator on the couch. I was planning to use it while I watched a movie.

My boyfriend did not know from time to time I use sex toys. He is a Christian but I am not. We have not been friends for a long time.

He is active in his church. He has invited me but I have never gone but I was planning to go. Now I don't know what I should do.

I do not have any children but I have had my share of men. When we went out for the first time, I told him that I love sex but I will not seduce him.

When he saw my vibrator, he questioned me and I told him I did not appreciate the questions because I am not a child, and for six and a half months I have not had sex with a man. I use my vibrator to pleasure myself.

To my surprise, he accused me of being immoral and started to give me a lecture on how I should control my sexual urges.

He took up my vibrator and said I would not get it back. I became angry and told him to please put my vibrator down and leave my apartment.

He left but called me back the same night and told me that he was sorry. It is not easy for me to stop using my vibrator. In fact, I have two.

He says that he loves me and perhaps if I would come to church and dedicate my life to Christ, I would never have the feelings to use a vibrator.

Pastor, I love the guy but I don't want to fool him by telling him that I would stop using the vibrator because I am 33 years old. He is 25.

I feel so angry with this guy. I am not ashamed of how I treat myself. This guy is asking me to give him another chance. Do you think I should?

I consider him a boy and I don't want a boy in my life. What should I do?

P.G

Dear P.G,

This young man has to learn to respect you and from what he said he does not believe that anyone should use sex toys.

But don't be angry with him because there are many Christians who condemn the use of sex toys. From time to time, I have commented on this topic.

On the other hand, there are many Christian women who have admitted that sex toys (particularity the vibrator) have helped to keep them at home or from not inviting men in their homes to have sex with them.

Some men have bought vibrators for their wives, especially when they are not living at home, and have to be abroad for a long time.

So this young man felt disgusted seeing the vibrator on your couch. By the way, in these days with cellphones so popular, why didn't he inform you he was coming?

He should learn to call you before coming to your house.

He had no right to insist that you should not use the toys. Both of you are not even married. Whether it is right or wrong for you to use them, it is up to you.

He has assured you that if you were to become a Christian, you would never use a sex toy. Frankly, he doesn't know what he is saying.

I would say to you that there is nothing wrong in visiting his church but if your primary purpose of going to that church is to please him, then you should not go.

If he considers you of being such an ungodly woman, then he should not date you.

However, I am not telling you not to date him anymore. It is really up to you. Neither am I telling you to throw away your sex toys if you feel you have need of them.

Pastor

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