My husband is giving me 'bun'


February 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 36-year-old married woman. My husband is 41 years old. I believe that I am still beautiful. I have five children. My husband flirts a lot with young girls.

We were travelling from Europe and my husband became so excited with one of the young women he met on our journey.

Unknowing to me, he took her name and her telephone number and also her email address and they have been corresponding.

When I found out what my husband was doing, I spoke to him and he said that she was just a friend and she is married but very unhappy with her husband.

He continued to correspond with her. I told him I am unhappy with him.

became suspicious

This young woman came to the US one weekend and my husband lied to me and told me he was going to attend a seminar.

I believed him but when he did not return the Saturday night, I became suspicious. I called his cellphone but he did not answer. He did not return home until Sunday evening.

Would you believe that my husband was with that girl for the weekend?

I am so angry. He has his children and he is willing to give up all that we have for a woman he met when we were on vacation.

My heart pains me to know that a man who is educated can be so carried away with a woman's beautiful long legs and physical feature.

Dear Pastor, what can I do? My pastor has been counselling us but I am angry and I feel like I would tear this woman apart for destroying my family. Please for your advice.


Dear A.W,

Your husband is clearly the aggressor in this case. Unfortunately, when you realised that he was talking to this woman and emailing her, warning him was not enough.

You should have sent the girl an email and informed her that you knew what was going on and what your husband had said about her and tell her to reject him and to end the relationship.

I know some folks would say that he was the one who should have done so and the answer is yes.

But you knew what was happening in the early stage of their relationship and you cautioned him and he did not take heed. Therefore, you should have stepped in.

I am not blaming you for what has happened between your husband and this girl. I have already said that he was the aggressor and the young woman was vulnerable and she fell for him.

Please don't give up on your husband yet. Continue to go for counselling and give him time to come to himself. He is just carried away by a younger woman.

You continue to play the role of a good wife.


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