Scared my man will start liking my sister


February 27, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, and recently I started listening to your show. My boyfriend introduced me to your show and now I am hooked on it. When he is not here with me, your show is my company.

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend is 25. I have a job. I have a 17-year-old sister who is living at home in the country with my mother. She wants to come to live with me. My mother told me I should take her because she does not want her to stay in the country any longer. My mother does not know that I am living with my boyfriend. She thinks I am living alone.

My rent is $18,000 and my boyfriend helps me to pay it. If I did not have my boyfriend living with me, my sister and I could share, but I cannot tell my boyfriend to go, because I can't manage alone.

I told my mother to give me time, but she is anxious to let my sister leave home.

Pastor, even if I had a two- bedroom home, I would be afraid to let my sister come to live with us. She has a big body. She is not fat, but she has nice hips and nice bottom and big boobs. I am afraid to let her come and live with me because my boyfriend may trouble her.

Sometimes I think of telling my mom that my boyfriend sleeps here with me, but she would be disappointed in me because I am a Christian. We are all Christians.

We have a brother, but he is in school in Canada. He doesn't know that I am living with my boyfriend. It is really hard for me to live in Kingston and not get help from my boyfriend.

My boyfriend says that we should get married, but I am doing a course and I am not ready to get married. I am on the Pill, but I don't allow my boyfriend to have sex with me without him using a condom. And what happened to one of my girlfriend has caused me to be even more careful.

Her boyfriend had sex with her and the condom broke; she is now pregnant. She thought he would get married to her, but he told her that she would have to wait until the baby is born because he is not sure that the child is his.

Every month my boyfriend gives me half the rent money. If he gets home before me he cooks, so he is helpful. But I want to help my sister, I just don't know how.


Dear P.H.,

Tell your mother the truth. She might be disappointed in the way you are living, but let her know that it will be unwise for you to take in your sister. Don't hold back. Speak the truth. Let her know that your boyfriend sleeps at your house and it is not convenient for your sister to live with you.

You should also let your mother know that this man helps you to pay the rent and that he is of great help to you in different ways.

Express to her what you have told me in your letter, that you would not want your sister to live with you and your boyfriend, and that you are afraid she might get involved with your boyfriend. Explain that it is possible because you would not be at the house all the time.

Right now, you seem comfortable having a man living with you. Your parents might not like it, but it is a decision that you have made. It might not be the smartest decision, but that is what it is right now.

I hope that you will not allow yourself to be so entangled with this man that you would, feel that you cannot make progress without his help.

I hope that your sister would not be too disappointed, and that you would be in a better position very soon to pay your own rent and to get another job and assist your sister.


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