Wicked babymother preventing me from seeing my child


March 07, 2017

Dear Pastor,

It is usually a sad situation when a father denies his responsibilities. However, it would also be shocking to know that some mothers make it very difficult for a man to establish a long-lasting relationship with his child. My babymother and I had disagreements as to where we want our future to be, and therefore, we could not get along.

She ran away with my first child while she was pregnant at six months. She has tried in every way and on many occasions to convince me that the child was not mine and I should forget about it and move on. I have made contact with her relatives far and wide to talk some consciousness into her. She convinced them that she was raped somewhere along the line and I was not the father. I never once bought into her deceits as I knew the child was mine.

Nevertheless, a few years passed and I saw photos of the child. Pastor, this child is the 'dead stamp' of me. Even though the physical attributes were too clear to deny, she was still acting selfishly. This caused me to get the service of an attorney. Pastor, I won the court case, and the judge ordered that the child gets her rightful and legal name, which is my surname, and I in return get my parental rights.


Despite all of this, she is still depriving the child of her human rights and heritage. I live overseas, and whenever I plan on visiting the island, I make it known that the child will be with me. Despite the fact that this child and I eventually developed an unshakable bond where she does not even want to sleep if I am not beside her, the mother is still making things difficult and is refusing me access to be with my child once more.

The child started kindergarten last year, and I paid her school fees and covered all other expenses. Similarly, I have been sending her maintenance money on a monthly basis, except for January of this year since her mother denied me access to her for the Christmas season.

My question to you, Pastor, should I continue to send the mother maintenance money, or should I reapply to the court for full custody and await the outcome?

Keep doing the good service you are doing.

Frustrated Father

Dear Frustrated Father

Unfortunately, I could only suggest that you fight your child's mother in court. She is very unreasonable and she is acting as a woman who does not have common sense. It is not a question that you are not the father of this child, she knows that you are. Perhaps she regrets going to bed with you and having a child by you, but that has already happened. What is important now is the welfare of the child. What is done is done.

It is unfortunate that this is not someone with whom you can reason. She should be happy that you are the type of man who would support his child. I want to suggest that although she has been spiteful and irrational and has denied you access to this child during the Christmas season, that you continue to send her child support. You should not give her the opportunity to say that you do not support your child all the time. She is likely to say (judging from what you have written about her) that you do not always send her child support. Just ensure that you keep a record of every cent that you have sent to her.

I go further in suggesting that you try your very best to call your daughter every week. Take this woman back to court and let the magistrate know that she has continued to deny you the privilege of spending time with your daughter. If you are a single man, I would not suggest that you try to get full custody of this child. I believe that a girl child should grow up with her mother. However, certain circumstances can change that.

My prayers are with you.


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