My boyfriend's mother is very kind


March 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am having a problem. I am at university at present but I have a boyfriend who is 19. I love him so much, and sometimes I think I love him more than I love myself. He is very supportive.

His mother is a businesswoman so he works with her, but he is planning to go to university in the next school year. He is very disciplined and respectful.

His mother likes me and sometimes she would call me on the phone just to check up on me. If she doesn't see me for two weeks, she would call me and ask me if all is well.

One day my boyfriend handed me an envelope and when I opened it I saw that it was $5,000 from his mother. She told me to use it to buy lunch.

I was shocked, but my boyfriend told me that she is always warning him not to do anything that would cause me to leave him.

My father was not well and she allowed my boyfriend to use her van to take me to visit my father.

We have had sex a few times. Every time we do, he puts on two condoms because he does not want to get me pregnant. If he does not have any condom, he fingers me.

His mother told me I could come to the house to spend weekends but I don't want to go because if I do I would have to sleep with him.

He has his own room and it is only his mother and himself who live in their home.

Do you think I should take money from his mother? My parents send me money but I could always use a little extra. I will do whatever you tell me to do.


Dear J.A.,

You are fortunate that his mother loves you. So very often mothers do not encourage their sons to have steady relationships with women because they believe that the women are going to take the guys away from them and abandon them, so to speak. But this woman is a wise woman.

Concerning the financial gift she has sent to you, I would say to you, accept it and be very thankful. You did not ask for it. You were not crying on this young man's shoulder and asking for help.

She knows that as a student you need assistance. Make sure to say thanks to her whenever you speak to her, but be careful not to ask her for help.

You have not said if this young man has given you anything. Don't ask him for anything either. Of course, if he gives you a gift without strings attached, so to speak, you can accept it.

I expect him to give you gifts occasionally if he loves you. On the other hand, you could say to him that you are OK. He can save his money to pay his tuition.

Now let me address something that you said. This guy uses two condoms at the same time when he is having sexual intercourse with you.

That is a recipe for trouble because the condoms would rub against each other and are likely to break much easier.

If you and your boyfriend insists that you must have sex, both of you should be careful. Remember, a moment of indiscretion can cause you to become pregnant.


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