It is wrong to use sex toys


March 17, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I read your column daily, but today I saw where you were giving a lady some advice. Maybe I am not that intellectually inclined as you are. I see where you told her that using a sex toy is OK. I would like to know when a person is alone and playing with themselves with a sex toy, what are they thinking about? What is that called? Is that a godly thing to do? How does that affect that person spiritually?

I am awaiting your reply. Thank you.


Dear D.M.,

Evidently, you are against anyone who masturbate or anyone who engage in personal sexual pleasure. I would like you to know that family counsellors, therapists and psychologists have differed on this matter over the years. Some see nothing wrong with it, while others believe that it is wrong. There are individuals who use sex toys to satisfy themselves because their spouses are away for a long length of time. Others don't use anything else apart from their fingers.

Based on the tone of your letter, you consider it to be wrong. I am not prepared to condemn anybody who has found ways and means to satisfy themselves or to please themselves when they feel the urge for sexual pleasure and their spouses are not available. It is not for me to judge them, and you should not judge them either.


If you would not engage in any such practice, it is really up to you, but those who use sex toys and other means to bring pleasure to themselves should not be condemned by you or any other person.

Please bear in mind that the Bible is silent on this matter, and if the Bible is silent, so should you. And may I assure you that the Bible says that there is a time for everything under the sun.

If, therefore, someone feels that he or she needs to engage in sexual pleasure, I doubt very much that it would affect his or her spirituality. Perhaps you think that that person is fornicating. I don't see it that way, but I would not argue with you. I don't advocate the use of sex toys, but neither would I condemn the use of it.


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