Pregnant again for my no-good husband


March 22, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am having some issues with my husband. I have been with this gentleman from I was a child.

We are in a relationship for more than 17 years. We got married when I was 23.

Whether thick or thin, I stayed with him. I have three children for him. He's a conductor, but I am not employed. Each time I got pregnant I had to suffer.

This time, it's the same thing again. He doesn't buy clothes for his children. He doesn't say that this pregnancy is not his, but his actions say so.

He will leave us to die from hunger. He would leave a little hand to mouth, but when it is finished, he doesn't care if the children want to eat or drink.

So this time, I have decided to give up this child I am carrying for adoption; he doesn't agree because he wants to use it to hold me down, but I can't cope.

The children are so disobedient, but he doesn't help with them. I have to do everything, such as cook, wash and clean.

He doesn't buy them their textbooks for school. I am the one who sent them to basic school. When I owed the teacher the last school fees, they saw him and asked him for it.

He said that he gave me and I used it. Where we are living now is my sister's house. She rented it to us. It is one big room, a veranda and bathroom.

She said I should give her $2,000 per month because I am not working. She raised it to $3,000. He hasn't paid a cent up to now.

He doesn't want to clean the yard; I think he painted the place once.


We owe almost $200,000 for water. He doesn't pay a cent. In 2010 he met in an accident, and he got some money. He did not work for one year after the accident.

We suffered a lot at that time, not even the children could go to school. When he received the money, he carried a small change to give me. The rest of it went to waste.

I was thinking to take him to Family Court, but because he lives in the house, it's hard to do so.

I spoke to him once about something and he went back and told this woman what I said. I was so upset, so I went to the Family Court and asked how I could get him out.

I was told that because I am not working it would be difficult. I don't know what to do.

I am stressed, I am confused. Sometimes I prefer to die than live. Please help me.


Dear N.S.,

Evidently, he does not love his family. He's wicked and shameless. Any man who does not provide for his family cannot be considered a good man.

I am amazed that you have stayed with this man and did not try to get a job.

You are not too old to learn how to empower yourself by learning a skill if you do not have one.

I hope that he will come to his senses, and even if he does not want a stranger to adopt the child, both of you should seriously consider asking a family member to take the child.

So many people should not be living in such a small space.

Your husband should not be blamed for everything. You have not used common sense as a woman. You should not have allowed him to have his way with you. You have been sleeping for too long. Wake up, woman.


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