In love with my ex's sister


March 23, 2017
Sad. Depressed. Distressed

Dear Pastor

I am 35. I have a girlfriend. She is 27 and doing nursing.

People try to break us up, including her eldest sister, who I am not ashamed to say I used to deal with.

She stole my money. I slept with her and in the morning I could not find my wallet that had almost $20,000.

I asked her for it and she said she didn't know where it was. When she saw that I was getting serious, she went into the clothes closet and pulled out the money and said she was only joking.

I couldn't continue to deal with her, so I started to befriend her sister. I know you are going to say that was not right pastor, but I used to give her money to go to school and one thing led to another.

Both of us fell in love. Her sister is not telling anybody that we broke up because she tried to steal my money.

She's telling them we broke up because I have many women. This girl is the only one I have now and since no one in her family knows I had a sexual relationship with her older sister, I want to continue.

Her sister threatens to tell her we used to have sex and I told her that she can go ahead; I will tell her sister that she's a thief.

I am tempted to tell my girlfriend the truth. But the words cannot come out of my mouth. I don't know how she would react.

She wants to work in the US and that means that if I am going to be with her, we would have to get married. I would like to marry her by the end of this year.

Sometimes, I allow her to drive my car and I take the bus to work. All these things hurt her sister. She should have been the one to enjoy this.

I want to do what is right, so give me your advice.


Dear G.L

You are behaving as if you are the innocent party. I understand this elder sister and you were going together and according to you she took away your money.

I doubt very much that she intended to steal your money. This girl couldn't be so stupid to have the intention to steal your money and she knew that only the both of you were together when you bought the food the night before. And nobody would have entered your room.

I can't be very sure why she held your money but what I know for sure is that she would not know that you would have established a relationship with her younger sister knowing the relationship that both of you were having.

It would be difficult to convince her that you did not have eyes on her younger sister and that you were longing and hoping to go to bed with her.

Put yourself in this girl's shoes. Do you think that she is wrong to be upset with you and to embrace you as her brother-in-law knowing that both of you were once lovers?

She expected you to have a higher standard.

I cannot encourage you to marry the nurse. I cannot see these two sisters having a good relationship with each other, and the older sister addressing you as her brother-in-law knowing that both of you were lovers.

You should have walk away from this relationship just as you did with her elder sister.


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