Should I take my cheating husband back?


April 04, 2017

Dear Pastor,

Pastor, I am married, but before I got married I had one son for another man.

My husband and I were living together for five and a half years. He got involved with another woman. I don't know what I didn't do to get him to come back, but he said he never would.

I met another man. He was married, but we started a relationship. It was this man who was keeping me alive. He gives me money every week.

My husband left me in a rented house. The other man helped me in getting a piece of land and to build a two-bedroom house. My son called him 'Uncle'. I told my son everything.

Pastor, last year my husband called me. He said he wanted to see me. I told him not to call me back because I don't even think of him anymore.

My husband came to my workplace and waited outside at the gate. He told me he wanted to beg me pardon for what he has done and he was asking me to forgive him.

I told him I would not. My son is against us getting back together. I told the other man that my husband wants to come back in my life. He asked me what I am going to do with him.

I told him he should give me some time. It is 10 years this man and I are together, but he told me he was not going to leave his family.

My husband has been visiting the house, but I feel guilty because even the bed I sleep on was bought by the other man.

My son came and saw my husband and was rude to him, but my husband said nothing. I am in trouble because it seems as if he has really changed, but my son is my big problem.

My sisters told me to take my husband back, but my son is against it. So please, pastor, give me your advice.

- L.Y.

Dear L.Y.,

You have to make your own decision. Your husband made a big mistake.

This other man provided shelter for you. However, from the very start of the relationship with him, you knew that he was married and could not marry you unless he was willing to divorce his wife, which he told you he would not do.

So when your husband sought you out and asked you to forgive him because he wanted to be reconciled with you, you were quite correct in mentioning it to your boyfriend.

So what are you going to do with him? You don't want to keep the both of them, I am sure. I understand why your son is adamant. Here is how I see it. Your boyfriend is a married man.

Therefore, I would suggest that you seriously consider taking your husband back because you still love him.

I further suggest that you reason with your son and show him why you would take him back. You and this man should go to see a counsellor.

Find out from your husband whether he saved money from his former relationship. He should not come back with empty hands.

If he has nothing and he is in poor health, it would be a very difficult decision for you to make. But he is your husband and he is asking you for forgiveness.

So perhaps you may have mercy on him. No one should blame you for standing firm if you do not take him back.


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