Don't know who got me pregnant


April 05, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and pregnant. I am not sure which one of my boyfriends got me pregnant. I had sex with one of them on Christmas Eve and the other on New Year's Eve.

Both of them work at nights. So I went out with one on Christmas Eve because he promised me money for Christmas.

My mother was depending on me to get some money for us to buy food for Christmas. We went to a little place and had sex. He gave me $7,500 and some perfume.

We texted each other and wished each other Merry Christmas. My other boyfriend drives a car. He picked me up on New Year's Eve. I told him that I could not spend the whole night with him.

We went to a party. His wife was with her parents helping them to get the place ready because they were going to have a family reunion on New Year's Day. We had sex and he gave me $11,000.

Neither used a condom. Pastor, I am worried. I told both men I am pregnant. The married one begged me not to call his name. He doesn't know that I have another boyfriend.

The single one told me to throw it away because he has two other children with two different babymothers. I was so shocked when he told me that. He did not tell me that he has children.

I am afraid to do an abortion.

My mother asked me who the child's father is. I made up a name and told her. She told me she wants to meet him. Every day she asks when he is coming.

I have two older sisters. Each of them has a child and none of them are working. The married man still gives me money and he promised to help me buy baby stuff.

The other guy hardly wants to take my calls.

Tell me, Pastor, what am I going to tell my mother? My boyfriend who is married told me to register the child in my name, but he will always be there for me.


Dear C.D.,

I am glad you did not terminate your pregnancy. You were careless with your life. You are old enough to know that you should not have unprotected sex with two different men in the space of a week.

I don't want to call you bad. I prefer to see you as a person who was hustling for money. Your mother was relying on you to bring home money to buy food for Christmas dinner. But I doubt that she knew that you would have to have sex to get that money.

How in the world had it not crossed your mind that these men should have used a condom? This single man is also very careless and irresponsible. He deceived you by not telling you that he had two babymothers.

And the married man is just as bad. If you were infected with STI, he would have caught it and pass it on to his wife.

Soon after you have given birth, try to find out who is the biological father by doing a DNA test. You have no choice but to accept what the married man gives to you, at least he has a heart.

The other guy is treating you with utter contempt. If the DNA test shows that he is the father, take him to court for child support.

What has happen to you is regrettable but I beg of you, try and go back to school and get an education, or get yourself a job or go to evening classes.


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