My man only wants money and sex from me


April 06, 2017

Dear Pastor

I am 21 years old and have been with my current boyfriend for seven years. We have been together since we were both in high school. We were young and naive.

I love him and I know that he loves me too but lately it feels like his love is dying. He doesn't answer my calls and my messages and most times, he finds an excuse not to see me.

Whenever I visit his house, his mother tells me that he is not there. He contacts me, most of the times, when he wants something. Often times it is money or sex.

At times when I am not able to meet his requirements, he curses me and uses it as an opportunity to ignore me.

Where his sexual needs are concerned, he believes that when I am not available, he should sleep around with other girls, some of whom he doesn't use a condom with and he refuses to use a condom when having sex with me. I am afraid I will contract a STD.

Sometimes he treats me badly and I always think that he puts his friends over me, especially his female friends.

When I speak to him about his behaviour, he shuns me or tries to convince me that there is nothing to worry about. I really love him and I believe that I have devoted too much of my life to him to give up now.

I, most definitely, don't want to lose him but it can't continue this way.


Dear T.J.

When this young man and you became friends and were having sex you were young and naive but you're not naive now.

Both of you were doing rudeness at that time but when you grew older you started to make love. By now, you should know that this guy is really a user.

He wants you for two reasons, money and sex. He knows that because you love him you would do anything for him. I suppose you may even consider jumping over a cliff to prove your love for him.

His mother will always protect him. That is what mothers do. Their sons can do no wrong. Very rarely does a mother say to a girl who is going with her son "Darling, my son is fooling you. He has another woman."

She is likely to say "I will give him the message for you. You will soon hear from him" but as soon as you walk through the gate, she has forgotten you.

Even when men abuse women, some mothers protect their sons. So don't bother to go back to his mother's house to look for him or to complain.

It is unfortunate that you think that after seven years of being friends, you should continue with this man hoping for the best.

My dear, I repeat, you ought not to be naive anymore. Keep this man out of your life and move on. Save your money, you would need it.

You are fortunate that this man has not got you pregnant neither did he pass on any STD to you. Break up the relationship. It is not going anywhere.


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