I found evidence of him cheating in his underwear


April 10, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am the mother of two children. I am 29 years old and my husband is 31. I found out that my husband is having an affair with my neighbour. She is 45 years old and her husband is a truck driver. He is always on the road.

My husband is an electrician. He makes fairly good money. My husband keeps going over to the man's yard and I warned him about it. Someone told this woman's husband, and he warned my husband not to come to his yard. My husband denied going there. The man told my husband that he would catch him and what he would do to him wouldn't be pretty.

I was told that my husband is meeting the woman at other places, because they were seen together. He told me that people should mind their own business.

I decided to check on my husband. One night, up to 9:30, my husband did not come home, so I went to where this woman lives. I asked for her and they told me that she was not at home. I went back home and two hours after my husband came home. I said nothing.

After he had his bath, I went into the laundry basket and I checked his underpants and it was sticky. So I knew he had sex before coming home.

I couldn't keep it anymore. I told him that I knew he had sex and that it was with the same woman. I went for his underpants and showed him. I asked him why his underpants looked that way and he called me crazy.

Pastor, I am not crazy. I told him that I was going to talk to the lady's husband because they are still having sex. I wouldn't do it because I know that the man would kill him. I asked my husband what this woman has that I don't have, and he can't answer me.

I have never cheated on my husband, but now he is saying I am making trouble because I see another man that I want and I want to leave him. I am not the type of woman that would cheat, but I am scared for my husband.

That woman's husband will carry out his threats if my husband doesn't stop fooling around his wife. I know my husband is guilty.

My birthday is in July and when I threaten that I would leave him, he went out and bought me a beautiful necklace. I know that he did so to try and make up with me.

What is your advice?


Dear E.B.,

I have heard of men searching women when the women come home late, but you have declared that you looked at your husband's underwear because you suspected him. You suspected that he was having sex with a woman who is not living far from you. When he did not come home at his usual time, you checked the woman's home and found out that she wasn't there. You believe that your husband was with her and they might have gone somewhere to have sex.

I know you threatened your husband that you will inform this woman's husband that, indeed, they are having an affair. I hope that you would never carry out that threat.

He wants to make up with you and that is why he went out and bought you a necklace. He is a very careless man, and he is playing with his life. I insist that both of you go to see the family counsellor. And please don't lower your standard by checking to see whether or not this woman is at home at such and such a time. You are this man's wife and you shouldn't have to be tracking him down by checking another woman's house to see whether he is there or whether she is at home. Bye lady. Take good care of yourself.


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