He won't admit that he got another woman pregnant


April 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am 24 years old and I am living with my boyfriend. We have a child together, but another woman has come between us and I recently found out that she is pregnant. And she said that the child she is carrying is his. I had my bag packed to leave and to go back to my parents, but he swore on the Bible and on his knees that the girl did not get pregnant by him.

When we became friends, he had nothing. He wasn't working and I said, "Well, we love each other". So I took my partner draw and paid the security and rent for the place we are living now. Just as I got pregnant, he got a job and things were going fine.

Now, since he bought a car, he is behaving as if he doesn't have any time for me. Even when he is not at work, he says that he is at work.

When I was in labour and in the hospital, he couldn't be found. Now I know why. He was with the girl who is now pregnant for him. I tried to get him to teach me to drive, but he wouldn't do it. He doesn't have any patience.

I am so hurt because every cent I have, I spend on him and our baby. I make more money than him. Everything in the house I bought. My mind is changing from him because of this girl he got pregnant. I didn't not grow up with a father. I was hoping that my daughter would grow up seeing her father and I together. I did not want my daughter to grow up with a stepfather.

My boyfriend keeps telling me that it is I who I driving him away, but I am not stupid. I know when a man has another woman. Sometimes, I could even smell the girl's perfume on him. I am a part-time student at a university. Sometimes, I cannot concentrate on my work because my mind is uncomfortable, and I am wondering if my boyfriend is with other women while I am at school.


Dear W.S.

You seem to be a very ambitious and hardworking young woman, and you deserve to be treated with respect. Your boyfriend said that you are miserable. Perhaps you are. The truth is, though, he has made your life miserable. If he knows that he is fooling around and having an affair, he should admit it to you, and both of you should go and receive professional counselling and strengthen your relationship. Even if he has gotten another woman pregnant, it is better for him to tell you the truth and leave it to you to decide how to handle the problem.

Having said the above, let me assent to say I know it would be difficult to accept, but the man you have treated so well got involved with another woman and she is carrying his baby. I want to urge you to try to put what he has done behind you and concentrate on your school work. Don't allow this problem to occupy so much of your time. If you do, you may fail your courses and you cannot afford to allow that to happen.

Remember you have a child to take care of and your college work. So, don't be consumed by the behaviour of your boyfriend. Time will work out everything for you. If he continues to disrespect you and not cooperate with you, you may have to seriously consider leaving him on the floor. I hope you know what I mean.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories