Desperate to have a baby for my husband


April 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your columns, and I find it very comforting sometimes. I am 42 years old. My husband is 10 years older than I. We do not have children. Some of our friends have children. I have two sisters one is married and has three children, the other got married but is now divorced.

We have everything a couple can have. Two cars, a lovely home, and enough in investment that would secure our retirement. But I worry about getting old and not having a daughter by my side to help me. I am here for my mother. She is 75 years old. She is strong and goes around by herself. She cooks for herself, but she has stopped asking me about children.

Yes, Pastor, I worry a lot. I am fortunate because I don't know of my husband having another woman with me. I think I am blessed because an ordinary man would have gone out. Even now, if he goes out and gets a girl pregnant, I would take the baby, but I will not tell him to do so.

I have seen old people who had nobody to take care of them, and helpers stole from them and abused them. Some of them would have lived longer if they had proper care.

My pastor says that I should believe what the Bible says. I should not worry about the future. What say you?


Dear Y.N.,

Let me begin by telling you that you are fortunate to have such a wonderful husband. He thinks highly of you and he respects you. You know that some couples can be happy even if they do not have children. On the other hand, some married women are very miserable if they do not have children. They consider not having children as a curse.

If the truth should be told, there are many outstanding married women who are very powerful but have never conceived. Here is what the Bible says about worry in Matthew 6: "Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted) about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, as to what you will wear. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

As I see it, you should give God thanks.

You are in good health and your husband is in good health. Both of you have jobs and are blessed with material things. So you should not worry. What people mostly worry about are the things that you have. I know that it is your desire to have a child. But it has not pleased the Lord to cause you to have a child.

Think of those who have children, but the children are not healthy. Instead of considering that these children brought happiness to their parents, they have not. They have caused pain and distress to their parents. I know some couples who are so distressed because their children are stricken with crippling diseases and the parents have had to be spending lots of money to keep them alive.

God will raise up someone to minister to you in your senior years, and He can do the same for your husband. When people worry, they show lack of confidence in God to take care of them. So stop worrying about the future; everything is going to be all right.


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