Don't like my father's dunce girlfriend


April 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was in high school and I have learnt a lot from it. I am now 19 years old. I will be starting university very soon. I'm living with my father, but his girlfriend doesn't like me. When she heard that

he was going to help me to go to university, she told him, "Mek di gal go look wuk." My father ignored her and he has been trying to get everything in place for me to follow my dreams.

He took this woman with two children. She doesn't work anywhere else but in the home. My father told me that I should not say anything, but he plans to get her out of his life very soon. She came as a day's worker, and from a day's worker, my father took her on as a helper. So she used to work Monday to Friday and then go home. Then, on Fridays, she started to sleep over. Now my father has her as his lover.

She is dunce (uneducated). All she can do is cook and she has a good shape. And that is what my father likes. I used to warm-up my father's dinner whenever he comes home. Now she has taken on that responsibility. If my phone rings, she tells me that I am a running hotline. I told her that that is not her business who I talk to.

Pastor, I don't even go out often, but whenever I go out, my father knows wherever I have gone. Most of my friends are girls, and when we are going out, we go together. I don't have a boyfriend, and I am not interested in having one until I graduate from university.

This girl only wants my father's money, and I don't believe that my father knows that that's what she is after. I do not want to say certain things to him. I do not want to disrespect him.

Tell me what to do.


Dear E.R.,

Your father is a grown, man and it might not appear to you that he knows what he has gotten himself into. He got involved with this woman sexually and she worked her way into his heart and his life. She evidently saw that he had a need for a woman and she played her cards well.

However, she did not know how to keep her tongue. She has no right to get involved in any matter between you and your father. She is overstepping her place when she suggested to your father that you should go and seek a job instead of going to university. She is rude and should have never made that suggestion to your father.

I am sure that you are intelligent enough not to say anything negative about her to your father. He wouldn't like that because to him, she is meeting his needs. When the appropriate time comes, he will get rid of her. He knows that she doesn't like you, and although it does not appear to you right now, that you mean more to your father, that is the way it is. You may think that he sees her as number one in his life, but you are wrong. He will never marry this woman, and he will never allow her to move her children to his house, so you don't have much to worry about. Just show your father that you love him and care for him and that you are determined to make him proud. I wish you the very best in life. When you go to university, please do your very best to excel.


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