No DNA test? I'm not paying child support


April 15, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 28-year-old man. When I was 25, I got mixed up with a girl. She said that I got her pregnant. I did not believe her.

My mother took her side and told me that if I did not go there, she couldn't call my name, so I must own up to the child.

The baby looks just like me and I love him, but people are saying that she gave me jacket.

I asked the mother if the child is really mine and she told me that I should go and do so and so with my mother, and that I shouldn't ask her any question.

I told my mother what she said and my mother blamed me for harassing her.

I want to do a test to find out if the child is mine. The mother doesn't agree so I stopped giving her money for the child. I am asking you for your advice.


Dear F.S.,

You should continue to support this child. You should never allow your child to go hungry. You have a doubt when the mother was pregnant and told you that you are responsible for her pregnancy.

You doubted whether or not you were responsible for impregnating her, but you accepted the advice of your mother and you have been supporting this child.

Whether or not you are the biological father of this child, you have accepted paternity and you should not harass the mother or give her the impression that you believe that she is a liar.

How often could a woman take this type of harassment from a man questioning her to declare whether or not he is the biological father of her child?

You could have done a DNA test to prove whether or not you are the father of this child without questioning or saying a word to the child's mother.

I recognise that the mother is very out of order. She has no right to be cursing you and saying disrespectful things to you about your mother.

But let us say that a DNA test shows that you are not the biological father of that child, what would you do? I would suggest, as I indicated earlier, that you continue to support this child.

You might not want to have anything sexual to do with his mother but you should not abandon your child.


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