I love him, but this relationship is over


April 20, 2017

Dear Pastor

My boyfriend and I have been together since highschool days. We have two children together. I recently found out that he has a baby with someone else.

I asked him about it and he said that there is a strong possibility that the child is his.

Pastor, I want to end the relationship with him but he isn't leaving me alone. The only thing left for me to do is to go to the police and ask them to take his things out of my place. But I don't want to create a scene in front of my children and I don't want anyone to know my business.

The company that he works for provides him with a house so that he can be close to his workplace. So I don't see him often.

I have to go there to meet him every other weekend but I don't go anymore. When he gets time off, sometimes I would go and sleep by my elderly aunt and leave him alone in the house.

We used to do things as a family but now I take my children without him. Whenever he cooks, I don't eat from him.

I went as far as to flirt with another guy the whole night when we went out with some friends, but he still isn't leaving.

He brought the pastor from the church we attend occasionally, and I told the pastor that if he is not there to tell my boyfriend to leave my house, I don't want to hear anything.

For my birthday, he took me to a hotel for the weekend, but when his birthday came, I gave him nothing. I didn't even tell him happy birthday but he's still not leaving.

I have his ATM card and I use it whenever I please because I am the one who deals with the finances for the home.

No matter what he tries to do or say to work it out, I just shut him down.


To make matters worse, his other babymother messaged me on numerous fake social-media accounts.

To be honest, I love this guy. We have been through much together. We have struggled in life to get to where we are now.

He worked hard to send me to university and now I have a good job, and so does he. The thing that really hurt me is that I thought we were past the worst.

We were in a similar situation once when he wanted to run my life, and so he had women and I had men. Then one day he came and told me that we should try and work things out.

Things were fine between us then, or so I thought.

I am in need of your advice


Dear A.W.

You are vindictive. This man has made mistakes ,and so have you. It is time for both of you to forgive each other and for you to stop the nonsense about ending the relationship with him.

You have had your time with other men and he with other women. Unfortunately, he has played the fool, even after you have stopped playing around with other men.

But you don't have to continue to punish this man. Both of you should make an appointment to get a series of counselling, then get married and have a strong family life.


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