I'm having his baby, but he got another girl pregnant


April 22, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I am pregnant. My pregnancy is four months along. When I got pregnant, I was trying to hide it.

It was persons from off the road who told my mother that I was pregnant. I used to tie down my belly, and I was even hoping that the baby wouldn't live.

I thought my father would put me out. He is an elder in our church. And according to their rules, if a man has a daughter and she gets pregnant, he has to step down from his position or put out his daughter.

My mother told him that I was pregnant, and she quarrelled for a whole week, but my father did not.

When I told him who got me pregnant, he said that I was careless, but the guy came from a good family. He told me that he should come and see him.

He was scared to come, but he eventually came, and my father asked him what his intentions towards me were. He said that he would treat me well and help me to go back to school and then we could get married.

He is a schoolteacher. My father warned him to keep his word and take care of the child.

Two weeks after his visit, he told me that another girl was pregnant for him.

I'm trying to hide it from my father, but I am very worried and I can't trust him anymore. That is why I am writing to you for advice.


Dear A.J.,

This guy and you were very careless. Both of you were adults and knew that having unprotected sex could result in pregnancy. This has happened to you.

You have put your father in an embarrassing situation with his church, but evidently, he is willing to endure the embarrassment and not ask you to leave his house. He is a good father.

Now, this man who has got you pregnant is a very careless and irresponsible man. Having two women pregnant at the same time is not a laughing matter and is nothing for a man to be proud of.

I am sure that you thought that he was a trustworthy man. Now you know that you can't trust him, and the promises that he made to you and your father mean nothing.

Therefore, I suggest that you keep in mind that this man may never be in a position to marry you. You may have to insist that he supports the child when he or she is born.

I suggest that you chart your future without him. You ought to tell your parents that this guy has got another woman pregnant.

Whether you tell them now or after you have given birth is really up to you, but they ought to know. Please do not fret over this man. Everything is going to be all right, but don't trust his words at all.


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