Should I run off and live with my boyfriend?


April 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I don't even know where to start. I am 19 years old. My boyfriend wants me to come and live with him in Portland. I told him not until next year, because I want to make some contribution to my household and obtain another certificate. However, he is acting boisterously as if I am to pack my bags and come now or something. But he doesn't know he would have to help me get a job there.

On the other hand, I am wondering what to tell my parents, or should I run off? They treat me as if I am still 15 years old; they also think that I am an irresponsible person. I don't even know if I am ready to be on my own. This young adult thing is at my feet so quickly, I feel flustered.

Pastor, you are the only one I can turn to for advice. Please tell me what to do.


Dear D.A.,

I hope you will follow my suggestions. Do not go to live with your boyfriend. Portland is a beautiful parish. The people are very helpful, but it is going to be tough for you if you are not qualified to hold a good job; and I may add that many of the people in Portland have jobs in Kingston and commute every day. You should not go to Portland believing that you can get jobs ahead of those who were born there and have lived there all their life. That is not going to work.

If you were to go there, you would have to depend on this man to support you, and unless he has a good job, your standard of living will drop.

Another thing, if you were to go to live with this man, it would not be long before he starts to pressure you to become pregnant. He wouldn't allow you to use contraceptives because he is going to say that you are his wife and if you are old enough to come and live with him, you are old enough to have a child.

Already, he does not even cherish your opinion. He is not willing to listen to your point of view. He wants you to pack up and come now. Why do you think he behaves that way. I can tell you why. He believes that he is the man and whatever a man says, his woman should listen and obey.


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