Christian boyfriend hungry for sex


April 26, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have a boyfriend and he is a Christian. Whenever he talks to me about sex, I feel embarrassed. I have never had sex. I am 18 years old and he is 23. I love him very much. Last week, he told me that he has to break up with me because since becoming a Christian he has not been having sex. He told me that he is not having sex with anybody, and I believe him. But every day he thinks about me. I know he is talking the truth because he talks to me before going to bed.

He masturbates a lot. He even told me that his babymother told him that she would help him out by giving him a little sex, but he would have to use a condom. When he was 20 they had a child together. They are not together anymore, and she has a boyfriend. He is a soldier and whenever he is coming to visit her, he tells her. This girl is very bad, and it is since they broke up he became a Christian and we met. He has opened my eyes to many things. He promises that he will not have sex with me until we are married. I am going away to work during the summer. I need money to pay my school fees. Sometimes I wonder if he would remain faithful to me or if he would cheat.


Pastor, is masturbation wrong? I think it is. But if I tell him not to masturbate, he is going to ask me when I am coming to give him something. I do not want to fornicate. Sometimes I feel so confused. Maybe we should break off the relationship, so I wouldn't think about him.

I warned him about seeing his babymother, and he is concerned about my going away for the summer and the fact that I will not be able to see him or to talk to him often.

My parents know him, but they don't know that he has a babymother. I don't feel I should tell them about that as yet. Do you think he is too old for me? I don't want to get married until I graduate from college and I have three years to go. I don't know if my boyfriend can wait so long. If we were to break up, he can get another girlfriend easily because he is very handsome and has a good job.


Dear V.E.,

Perhaps you should bring an end to this relationship. This young man is having a very difficult time in keeping his body under control, and the Bible says it's better to be married than to burn with passion. And he is burning up with passion. He wants to have sex, and masturbating doesn't seem to be enough for him. Yes, he is engaging himself in self-pleasure, but he wants more.

You are 18 and attending college. You are not ready to become his wife. You have already planned that you will not get married until you have graduated. He might not be able to hold out for so long. Both of you should come to an understanding and go your separate ways. You are going away on the summer programme to earn some money to pay your tuition, and nothing should stop you from doing so. You are not going to be away for a very long time, but you shouldn't be fretting on this man and whether his sexual needs would be met. You should probably walk away from this relationship because you are very young and you have many more years ahead of you to choose a good partner who would be compatible.


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