My boyfriend wants to sleep with my cousin


April 27, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend. He is 25 years old. I am living in Kingston with my older sister. I invited my boyfriend to the country just for a day, and he met one of my cousins who is 22 years old. He invited her to Kingston to spend a weekend with him. She did not tell me anything, but one day my boyfriend and I were together, and she rang him and I noticed that her number showed up on his phone.

I asked him why she was calling him, and he said that she was just checking up on him. I did not say anything, but later in the night I called her and asked her why she was calling him. She said she did not know how to tell me, but from the moment he saw her, his mind turned from me and that he wants the both of them to be friends. I asked her what about her boyfriend that is in the country; she said that they are still together. She also said my boyfriend is inviting her to spend a weekend with him, but she wasn't planning to come without letting me know. I told her that I am going to tell her boyfriend what she plans to do. She begged me not to tell him. I have made up my mind to tell him.


Dear Y.P.,

You don't have to go that far. You don't have to report your cousin to her boyfriend. You thought that your boyfriend was a man of integrity. When you asked him to accompany you to go to rural Jamaica and he met your relatives, you believed that it was just a matter of getting to know them and for them to know him. You didn't know that he would want to get intimate with any of your female relatives. It didn't take him long to assess the situation and to realise your cousin was easy to get, so to speak.

When he invited her to come to Kingston to spend a weekend with him, she should have objected and informed you right away. Instead, she seemed to have accepted the invitation, and in doing so she has let herself down and let you down, too. You don't have anything to gain by reporting her to her boyfriend. Nothing has happened between your cousin and your boyfriend, so let the matter rest there. But please be aware that your boyfriend should never be trusted, not even with your worst enemy.


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