I don't want my daughter to live with me


April 28, 2017

I am 36 and I have a daughter who is 14. She grew up with my mother, and that was because her father disowned her.

When she was one, I left the country and came to town and started working in a hairdressing parlour. I met a man soon after and went to live with him. I did not know that he was married.

One day, one of his sons came to visit him and he told me that his father is married. After telling me that, he started making advances at me.

I was surprised. He asked me how come I am with his father and I am such a young girl.

Pastor, this man I am living with is 60. When he came home, I told him that his son was there and what his son said.

He called him, and told him some expletives and told him not to come back to his house. I asked him why he did not tell me that he is married and he said that the time was not right.

He said he caught a man on top of his son's mother.


This man and I are getting along well. He has divorced. I told him about my daughter and he wants me to let her come and live with us.

I am afraid because she is very out of order and this man is a strict disciplinarian. I am also afraid that she would be disrespectful to him and cause us to break up.

There is nothing I want that this man does not give to me. The girls at my workplace told me to hold on to this man. He pays for everything. He wants me to save my money.

My mother calls him my sugar daddy. Sometimes we drive to the country to visit her.

I don't know what to do with my daughter. My mother said that I should take her because she suspects that she is having sex because she sees her chatting with a guy in the community who smokes weed.

I am writing you for your advice.


Dear F.T.,

You haven't said how you met this man who you are living with. He did not tell you the whole truth about himself.

You have evidently forgiven him for not telling you the truth.

Now, concerning your daughter, your mother cannot control her anymore. Therefore, she is begging you to take her to live with you and your man. I know you are nervous about that, but I believe that you should consider what your mother says and act on it.

You are afraid because many stepfathers became sexually involved with their stepdaughters. On the other hand, there are numerous stepfathers who would never take a second look at their stepdaughters.

Therefore, I suggest that you have another talk with your gentleman and ask him how he feels about it and relay your concerns to him, and see how he responds. He has already told you to take her.

After leaving school in the evenings, you daughter could come to your workplace and stay there and do her homework until you are finished working, then the both of you can go home together.

Please remember that I am only making a suggestion.


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