I cheated because my husband slapped me


April 29, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 31. I got married when I was 23. My husband was always cheating on me. He would get up and go to work, and at the end of the week he would not bring home any money. I had to support him. I tried to cover for him because when I had nothing to cook, I used to go home and my mother would give me some of what papa brought home.

One day my husband and I had an argument over money, and I told him that I was sorry that I got married to him and if I had married another guy who is still in love with me I would be better off.

I called him a cruff, and he slapped me and my face was swollen. I took off my wedding band and threw it to him, and told him I was leaving him. I called one of his brothers to talk to him.

He told his brother that I was cheating on him with my former boyfriend. His brother took my side, and told him that he is an idiot and he did not believe what he was saying.

His brother gave me money to go to the doctor. I lied to the doctor, but the doctor did not believe my story.

When I saw what my husband did to me, my mind changed from him. When I was feeling better, I sent a text to my old boyfriend and we started up a new relationship. I didn't mean to cheat. I only wanted someone to talk to. When I left him for this cruff it was because he got another girl pregnant and he said he had to marry her because she was carrying his child. But I always loved him.

I was in the house with my husband, but sleeping on the couch. One day after he left for work I went to see my ex-boyfriend.

He met me at the park in Half-Way Tree, and we went out of town, did our thing and came back to Kingston. My husband did not know that I went out of town. I don't cook for him. I go and eat at my parents' house. My father is not saying a thing because he never liked my husband. My husband is so stupid. I bring things to the house like bread, eggs and sausages, and he helps himself before he leaves for work, and he doesn't ask where I got money to buy these things. But it is my boyfriend who gives me money to buy these things. I am with him and I am going to continue to give my husband bun. I am hoping to get a job.


Dear L.H,

You and your husband lack proper communication skills and respect for each other. Harsh words were said to each other, and he lost control and physically abused you. Regardless of what you said to him, he should have walked away. He had no right to hit you. I have observed that you tried to have his brother speak to him, but he would not listen to his brother.

I am sorry to hear that you have now become a cheater. Oh, I understand that you felt you needed a shoulder to lean on. It seems to me that you have always loved this guy who impregnated another woman, and what he did drove you to marry this guy you describe as a cruff. I can't encourage you to continue to cheat. I know your mind is totally turned off from your husband, but it would be better for you to leave his house and go back to your parents while you seek employment. I am afraid that if you continue to see this guy that is now your lover again and your husband find out, something bad may occur because he is unable to control his anger.

By the way, common sense should tell him that you are getting money from somewhere. I cannot believe that he thinks that your parents are still fully supporting you. He couldn't be so naive. Please trust your parents. Tell them that you need their help. You don't want to go back home, but that is the best place for you to go until you have sorted out yourself. You may not agree with me, but your life is in danger.

Your lover is living with his babymother, and he told you before you were married that he could not leave her. Why do you think that he would leave her now because your marriage is in trouble? Let him help you to get a job, but stop this cheating. It would be good if your husband and yourself seek counselling and forgive each other for what has transpired between the both of you.


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